Kitchen of the Future

Good news.  I just sold my comicon tickets for $100 bucks each (paid 30 a piece for them).  I am gonna meet up with a guy in L.A. and do the transaction there early before the shooting starts.  The thing that is so crazy is that I got over 30 emails over one stupid craigslist advert.  I probably could have sold them for twice what I did, but I don’t want to be a complete jerk.  I really did want to go... Read More

Kerplunk!

3.. 2.. 1.. KERPLUNK! I go out of town for 2 days to work on a fucking movie and put some cash back in the pile and when I come home I find out that my kitchen has completely self-destructed!  Hahahaha.. its fucking totally hilarious.  Apparently the feed line to the dish washer blew up and right now I have a crackerjack team of mexican laborers... Read More

Shout at the Devil

It was total destruction!  El Diablo not only defeated the other team but they were completely humiliated.  It was the best ever.  We never lost a single game.  The team was running around like wild animals, like savage beasts.  We conducted ourselves in the manner befitting the children of the jackal. This picture was found on the court on the body of a dead man for none were left alive. After the game in true El Diablo fashion we went down... Read More

Memorial Dumps

Memorial Day weekend.  I got shithouse drunk last night in memory for being alive.  Here is the sordid list of details. - I got caught in the worst traffic ever.. it was so fucking bad that this goddamn bum in a bum-cart was going faster than me down the road.. fucking totally infuriating.  The worst thing about the bum-cart dude was that his rig was in no way motorized, it was just his dirty little sneakers slowly dragging the thing on down the... Read More

El Diablo

It was total destruction. It was total mayhem. It was total victory! We completely crushed the opposition.  Dodgeball is the best fucking game ever.  I love it.  Their team name was the “Beach Boozers” but by the time we were done with them they felt more like the “bitch losers”.  Its been a long time since I’ve felt the competitive juices surging through my body.  Coursing through my veins like hot magma.  The hunger to rip somebody’s... Read More

1-800-FUCK-YOU

Recent events have led me to the conclusion that 1-800-FLOWERS is the actual devil! I ordered a dozen fucking frezia for my sister on her birthday (in a clear glass  vase with a mylar ‘happy birthday’ balloon) and the fuckers never delivered it.  I was even up in L.A. doing that voice over crap for the Transformers movie and I went by her work and was expecting a big hug for being such a hero with flowers and crap and there was nothing... Read More

St. Patrick’s Day Weekend List 1138

-=-got completely shitfaced at the Cha Cha Lounge. -=-Scarfed down 3 tamales. (NOTE: if you are in Silverlake latenight and need some grub, you must find the tamale guy and give him all your money, you will not be disappointed) -=-K-Funk (great job by the way) videotaped a girl scratching her pussy when she thought nobody was looking with the nightvision mode on my camcorder and laughed so hard my neck meat almost broke. (MOVIE IDEA: “Since when... Read More

I Wanna Be Your Dog

good news: the 300 is a kickass movie better news: st. pat’s is on saturday best news: WON FREE ADMISSION TO A LIVE RECORDING AND Q&A WITH IGGY AND THE STOOGES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations! Yahoo! Music and Capital Music Group have chosen youand a guest to attend an exclusive taping of TheStooges for Nissan Live Sets On Yahoo! Music. READ CAREFULLY When: March 20, 2007, 7pm taping (doors close at6:30pm)Where: The Nissan Live Sets stage,... Read More

Post Traumatic Rampage (a.k.a. “Pit Meat”)

Strange day today.  Paid some bills, got my broken back X-Ray’d by the VA, and nearly got ran off the road by a total psycho. I was on my way back from the post office when I pulled behind a crappy gray dent-magnet.  The car was moving roughly 15-17 mph, swerving lazily all over the lines, and the past-middle-aged mostly bald man wearing the sweaty once-white wife-beater was slurping on hot-wings with both hands.  (a lot of hyphens in that last... Read More

The Crock of Sisyphus

i didn’t get any good sleep. my head feels heavy and out of balance. i havent gone outside my apartment all day. it took me hours just to get out of bed. my body feels devastated. my life is devastated. why? my apartment over here is fucking spotless now, been cleaning like a stepford wife for 3 hours now. all my clothes are folded, bags packed. the dishes are all clean and stacked. there is nothing else for me to do here and i’m burning... Read More