El Dorado

I got a phone call from a special lady who was very close to me a long time ago.  Her mouth was a knife, a scalpel, and she performed surgery on me. “Honestly, I feel sorry for you.” “What? Fuck you!? Why!?” “Well you used to be insightful and funny and awesome, but now you exist on the dark side.” “Whatever, I dance the line just like you do with your painting.  I peer into the void but I don’t live there.” “No.  I go to... Read More

Ultraviolence

Where am I and where have I been? I am nobody, been nowhere, done nothing – a victim of the modern age. I’ve been watching a bunch of those old Japanese Samurai movies lately, Kirosawa films in particular. Fucking amazing! The Seven Samurai, the grizzled old samurai at the end of the epic battle… “We live again.” No ego, no bragging, no celebration. Skill and intelligence played a part, but his survival was pure chance. He could have... Read More

The Crock of Sisyphus

i didn’t get any good sleep. my head feels heavy and out of balance. i havent gone outside my apartment all day. it took me hours just to get out of bed. my body feels devastated. my life is devastated. why? my apartment over here is fucking spotless now, been cleaning like a stepford wife for 3 hours now. all my clothes are folded, bags packed. the dishes are all clean and stacked. there is nothing else for me to do here and i’m burning... Read More

The Big Disconnect – by Brad I.

I’ve been doing a fair amount of post-collegiate soul searching lately. Looking at my place in the world and wondering where my efforts would be most effectively applied. Seems pretty straight forward, but unforuntately, it isn’t. Things are pulling from all directions now. We don’t have a youth movement, our wars are manufactured (and thus, pretty tough to get behind on a personal level) and our counterculture is bought and sold for $9.95 with... Read More