War is Hell

While the US troubles in Iraq seem to be abating there are other battlefronts that have been in turn heating up.  The past few weeks have seen a marked escalation in the struggles between me and my downstairs nemesis (neighbor) the evil and insidious Shirley. The first struggle that got hot was in regards to the door leading to the stairs.  The door is right in front of Shirley’s apartment and she had complained to me for months about slamming... Read More

Anti-Fashion ’08

Well its the new fucking year. 2008, fuck, it even sounds like we’re living in the future. Even though everything still pretty much sucks (and probably always will) there are some changes that should be made this year. So without any other blathering I present to you: THE TOP TEN LIST OF FASHIONS THAT NEED TO DIE IN 2008!!!!! - First and foremost - CROCs & UGG BOOTS!!! Uggs, FUCK OFF AND DIE!!!!! These things are the fucking worst, they... Read More

Shock and Awe

After discovering the perfect way to assault the evil SHIRLEY with water the other day I have taken pleasure in what I am now calling “BOMBING” her many times since. She has tried to come up and complain but I simply tell her that whatever the hell is going on in HER apartment is HER issue and stay the fuck away from me. I ain’t doing shit. I would feel bad about flooding the bitch to kingdom come but she had the fucking nerve to... Read More

Air Raid Bitchez!

I went to the Red Bull Air Races on the San Diego Bay all day Saturday and it was TOTALLY BADASS! These little planes can do shit that I’ve never seen before. It was the coolest thing ever. My bro took his boat out and we basically pigged out on fried chicken and beer while planes did gnarly spins and turns and shit right overhead all day long. There was a Navy airshow as well and we got buzzed by a bunch of badass jets and shit. On top of all... Read More

Absurdity and Gary Busey

“Accepting the absurdity of everything around us is one step, a necessary experience: It should not become a dead end. It arouses a revolt that can be fruitful. An analysis of the idea of revolt could help us discover ideas capable of restoring a relative meaning to existence, although a meaning that would always be in danger.” – Albert Camus You know, aside from real estate, its funny what you think about all day in real estate... Read More

Igor

My buddy Igor just shot me a new article for the site (NAVY – by Igor) and after you check out the urban dictionary definitions for Igor then I think you’ll prolly understand where this disquiet is borne.  I find #4 the most appropriate, but if you knew the dude then you might also see #1 (refer to image below definitions). 1. igor Def 1:a clumsy semi-retarded excuse for a human. Ocassionaly has sex with goats and other animals.... Read More

How To: Kill a Tree

For legal purposes this blog will be written under the pen name of “Mr. Bloggs” One day Mr. Bloggs woke up and realized that the tree that his neighbors loved and cherished was totally pissing him off.  Not only were the leaves falling onto his property but the roots were destroying his garden and the trunk itself was slowly pushing over his fence.  His wonderful view of downtown Bloggsville was blocked by the menacing horrible tree.... Read More

Hey… Watch This!

Well I almost got murdered tonight attempting to pull off what I thought was a pretty good prank. I tried to steal a green Hamas flag from their headquarters in one of the provinces. Now this may sound completely insane, and well it probably is, but the time was right. It was rainy, keeping people off the streets. Its Shabbat right now so all the jews are indoors. It was night time, and well, night time is the right time. Anyway, I had to climb up... Read More

It’s Official… I’m an ASSHOLE!

yeah yeah yeah.. i fucking know, I KNOW! I’ve been totally slacking on this site for like 2 weeks. Lots of shit been going down, you know, a nigga just trying to keep his head above water here in the ghetto. Anyway, I have a bunch of new shit to put up here but it’s not all done yet so for now you will just have to check out the WASTELAND tribute page in the tweaked shit section. Not a whole ton of stuff, but I needed to represent the... Read More

Health Junk

I’ve been eating a lot of carrots lately. I have come to the conclusion that I will basically eat anything. I just don’t seem to really care at all. I find that no matter how burnt or gross tasting some leftovers may be, no matter how chunky the milk gets, no matter how fattening I know that huge chunk of icing is I don’t care. I think this is somehow tied either to me being a dude or me being less evolved. The cool thing is that... Read More