War is Hell

While the US troubles in Iraq seem to be abating there are other battlefronts that have been in turn heating up.  The past few weeks have seen a marked escalation in the struggles between me and my downstairs nemesis (neighbor) the evil and insidious Shirley. The first struggle that got hot was in regards to the door leading to the stairs.  The door is right in front of Shirley’s apartment and she had complained to me for months about slamming... Read More

Anti-Fashion ’08

Well its the new fucking year. 2008, fuck, it even sounds like we’re living in the future. Even though everything still pretty much sucks (and probably always will) there are some changes that should be made this year. So without any other blathering I present to you: THE TOP TEN LIST OF FASHIONS THAT NEED TO DIE IN 2008!!!!! - First and foremost - CROCs & UGG BOOTS!!! Uggs, FUCK OFF AND DIE!!!!! These things are the fucking worst, they... Read More

Scary Old Bum-like Prison-tatted Drug Clown

Well I read back over the ‘Logan’s Run’ entry here and I’ve decided that I’m being too hard on myself.  I’m not wearing a suit and tie, I don’t have an office and a secretary, I don’t have to kiss my boss’ ass on the daily.  This realization is a little too late though.  After taking on the position I’ve been subconsciously resisting my perceived chains.  Hard drinking, rock music, chasing women around.  Not the best of activities... Read More

Jam Box

I only have 2 words in my pizza-pipe right now; “JAM BOX!” I was bebop-ing around the other day and I happened across a remarkable piece of 1980′s technology, a jam box. It was sitting right there next to a dumpster, god knows why anyone would want to throw something so kickass away, it must have been some colossal mistake that I somehow benefitted from. Regardless, I scored a brand new jam box. I call it a jam box, some folks call... Read More

My Machine

My dad is going crazy in his old age. In the past he has tried to get me to do several things that I cosider “crazy talk”. After I told him about the revolts and immolations in China my dad joined the local sect of Falun Gong. In this sect he was going to gain ‘magical powers’ including the ability to fly. At one time he tried to get me to eat this bacteria which he called “good bacteria” that apparently our body... Read More

Stop, Drop, and Roll

It smells nice at first, nostalgic even.  Burning wood and charcoal embers seem almost appropriate in October.  It is a month of grey, orange, and black.  A month of dry grass blowing in the wind.  A month of pumpkin faces with fire in their eyes.  After a quick workout I called up my buddy Igor.  He had been laying fallow since the cancellation of his college courses for two straight days.  “Closed because of fire” is not an uncommon sight... Read More

Chuck Bravedy is a Fuckhead (.com)

Is there a law against being a sellout?  No. Is there a rule against being a cowardly bitch?  No. Is there a commandment against being a total fuckhead?  No. Are there guys out there that need to go the fuck away and shut the fuck up for all time?  Yes. Enter Chuck Bravedy. Let me introduce you to Chuck “Bravedy” a former shitbag SEAL who has now published his bullshit bible-beater ideas into a book.  It would be bad enough that this... Read More

40 Mike Mike

I have been TOTALLY slacking on this site for like 3 weeks. Well, long story short I was balls deep in some hardcore personal drama. I had to give myself a gay little pep talk to get this shit done right now, but I’m glad that I’m finally sitting down to update this meat. So. I have a funny collection of media to share. An old buddy of mine called me up at 6am with a wild voice message that simply needed a wider audience than my stupid... Read More

Shock and Awe

After discovering the perfect way to assault the evil SHIRLEY with water the other day I have taken pleasure in what I am now calling “BOMBING” her many times since. She has tried to come up and complain but I simply tell her that whatever the hell is going on in HER apartment is HER issue and stay the fuck away from me. I ain’t doing shit. I would feel bad about flooding the bitch to kingdom come but she had the fucking nerve to... Read More

Air Raid Bitchez!

I went to the Red Bull Air Races on the San Diego Bay all day Saturday and it was TOTALLY BADASS! These little planes can do shit that I’ve never seen before. It was the coolest thing ever. My bro took his boat out and we basically pigged out on fried chicken and beer while planes did gnarly spins and turns and shit right overhead all day long. There was a Navy airshow as well and we got buzzed by a bunch of badass jets and shit. On top of all... Read More