The Snake Diet

I assassinated my soul with alcohol. Throughout history there have been many successful assassinations. Julius Caesar was stabbed to death by his own senators in front of the Theatre of Pompey. Twenty three stab wounds decorated his dead body, twenty three murderous knife thrusts. Mark David Chapman shot John Lenin four times on the street in front of his hotel. Bobby Kennedy was also shot four times by Sirhan Sirhan. Malcolm X was shot 16 times with... Read More

Banned in Iraq

Saw the most kickass bar brawl the other day. This little dude totally wrecked this giant fat dude and the fat dude jumped the little dude. The best part was when the little guy rode the fat guy to the ground from behind by grabbing both his ears. The fat dude’s face smashed the concrete right at my feet (I actually had to move my foot so it didn’t get hit) and then the fat guy’s face exploded like a volcano of blood. Skullissa and... Read More

Drama Queen

What a fucking weekend. Block Party in PB, ho-ly-shit.. everybody in town was there. A lot of people had fun and about just as many ended up feeling hurt. I’m not going to get into all the little bullshit details about who said what and who did what to who but the bottom line is that I learned my lesson about what can happen when you booze on a Friday the 13th weekend. At this... Read More