Thoughtcrime
Hipsters of the World, Unite!
[December 6, 2008]Linkery žil, Linkery žije, Linkery bude žít..? If you’re looking for a great place to eat with friendly service and a good menu then stay the fuck away from The Linkery in North Park. I promise to you the place is run by fucking commies! First and foremost, you will be paying top dollar for [...]
Colony Collapse Disorder
[December 5, 2008]For the last few weeks I have noticed a disturbing trend on my front door – bees. At first I dismissed it, thought it was nothing important, a mere fluke of nature, but the bees continued to come. At first it was just a few. I would occasionally notice a couple of them crawling around [...]
Shoppers/Savages
[November 30, 2008]Fuck you Walmart – but more to the point, fuck you America. Early Friday morning, some 200 Wal-Mart shoppers “physically broke down the doors,” knocked a 34 year old Wal-Mart greeter to the floor, and then stampeded over his body until the man was dead. For this, the man no doubt received the usual Wal-Mart [...]
8 O’clock in the Morning
[November 16, 2008]8 O’clock in the Morning (Ray Nelson, 1963) At the end of the show the hypnotist told his subjects, “Awake.” Something unusual happened. One of the subjects awoke all the way. This had never happened before. His name was George Nada and he blinked out at the sea of faces in the theatre, at first [...]
Ghetto Rake Attack Squad
[November 16, 2008]O-riginally founded during the cold war by the then communist soviet union this paramilitary group has resurfaced in south orange county around the year 1997. it is unclear whether similar social environments acted as catalyst or rather the commonalities of disenfranchised and marginalized youths taking back the ‘ghetto’. currently the G.R.A.S. has gone into hiding [...]
Dinosauria, we
[November 13, 2008]Born like this Into this As the chalk faces smile As Mrs. Death laughs As the elevators break As political landscapes dissolve As the supermarket bag boy holds a college degree As the oily fish spit out their oily prey As the sun is masked We are Born like this Into this Into these carefully [...]
War is Hell
[January 6, 2008]While the US troubles in Iraq seem to be abating there are other battlefronts that have been in turn heating up. The past few weeks have seen a marked escalation in the struggles between me and my downstairs nemesis (neighbor) the evil and insidious Shirley. The first struggle that got hot was in regards to [...]
Anti-Fashion ’08
[January 2, 2008]Well its the new fucking year. 2008, fuck, it even sounds like we’re living in the future. Even though everything still pretty much sucks (and probably always will) there are some changes that should be made this year. So without any other blathering I present to you: THE TOP TEN LIST OF FASHIONS THAT NEED [...]
Teacher/Pedophile
[December 27, 2007]A tribute to my high school english teacher (courtesy of Megan’s Law & Photoshop): Name: Michael Clarence Hays Date of Birth: 05-27-1959 (year of the ‘boar’ in Chinese astrology) Sign of the Zodiac: Gemini “the twins” Sex: Male Height: 5’11″ Weight: 200 lbs Eye Color: Blue Hair Color: Blonde Ethnicity: White Offenses: – f243.4(a) – [...]
St. Margaret of Scotland
[December 26, 2007]X-mas has come and gone and not a minute too soon. The holiday makes people stupid. Everything seems to be moving at breakneck speeds and everyone starts taking meth just to keep up. Needless to say it really annoys me in almost every way. Everyone always says that people act uncharacteristically vicious in their shopping [...]
