A Winter w/o Temperature

Irkutsk, Lustvyanka, Lake Baikal – Siberia Russa (July 2010) The Age by Osip Mandelstam (1891 – 1938) My age, my beast, is there anyone Who can peer into your eyes And with his own blood fuse Two centuries’ worth of vertebrae? The creating blood gushes From the throat of earthly things, And the parasite just trembles On the threshold of new days. While the creature still has life, The spine must be delivered, While with the unseen... Read More

Dear Valued Customer

Dear Valued Customer, We are very pleased to announce… FUCK YOU! Your bullshit company is so unsophisticated and lazy that you can’t be bothered to have your junk mail robot print out my fucking name?  If you don’t even know my name, why the hell should I even listen to one word you have to tell me?  Suffice it to say I was fed up with San Diego, fed up with my life drama, fed up with my life.  The trip couldn’t have come a moment too... Read More

Maiden Voyage

It was just before the 4th of July.  I had got back in touch with an old friend and we decided to catch up over drinks before I spent the next day with family.  Going back to Orange County is always conflicting for me.  I remember very well the absolute revile I used to feel about the place when I lived there.  The sterility, the pointlessness, the frivolity in place of what I would consider ‘real experience’.  I had my Holden Caufield moments... Read More

Serpentor

I walk into the sandwich shop. I was starving. I just wanted to grab a quick bite, something somewhat healthy, before I get too grouchy and start crabbing at people for no reason. It happens whenever I’m hungry, I start to lose my shit and all I can do is eat before I end up going postal. I was already pretty out of it. Working nights always tweaks my mindset – I float through the days in a valium haze. The woman behind the counter was pretty... Read More

Colossus

“This is the voice of world control. I bring you peace. It may be the peace of plenty and content or the peace of unburied death. The choice is yours: Obey me and live, or disobey and die. The object in constructing me was to prevent war. This object is attained. I will not permit war. It is wasteful and pointless. An invariable rule of humanity is that man is his own worst enemy. Under me, this rule will change, for I will restrain man. One... Read More

El Dorado

I got a phone call from a special lady who was very close to me a long time ago.  Her mouth was a knife, a scalpel, and she performed surgery on me. “Honestly, I feel sorry for you.” “What? Fuck you!? Why!?” “Well you used to be insightful and funny and awesome, but now you exist on the dark side.” “Whatever, I dance the line just like you do with your painting.  I peer into the void but I don’t live there.” “No.  I go to... Read More

Writhing In My Insect Fear

I don’t like how sometimes you can see light through your fingers.  It reminds me how thin humans are.  My soul has felt pretty thin lately. Aside from that there have been a rash of people that have tried to find me, search me out.  Let me pose this warning to all would be glory seekers; I am to you as the yeti to the Himalayan explorer – exciting and dangerous all at once.  A beer keg in the trunk of a cop car.  It has been said by... Read More

Mia and Me

I recently switched from Ana, the illegal Mexican maid who was stealing all my DVD’s and threw away all my goddamn vintage newspapers because she thought they were trash, to Mia, my new awesome Finnish house cleaner.  Ok first of all, yeah, I have a fucking house cleaner.  Why?  Just like Disney movies brainwash girls into the Cinderella syndrome, my mom brainwashed me into not wanting to clean my own goddamn house.  So yes, I have a maid. ... Read More

Men Without Eyes Multiply Like Flies

Another weekend is stalking me.  I worked nights all this week.  I’m not really complaining, I kind of like the schedule.  Not really the hours so much, but the shake up.  I like being forced to stay up and do things I wouldn’t ordinarily do.  I often put myself into situations where I know I will be forced into certain scenarios that will fuck with me in different ways.  More than just the philosophical mumbo-jumbo though, I just like the... Read More

My Armpits

“So like what the fuck is going on with my armpits?” I thought to myself in the shower this morning.  My deodorant must be fucking me up or something.  It’s that antiperspirant kind, you know, so you don’t look like a 70’s tennis player in the middle of your board meeting.  I don’t know why I even have that kind – I usually go for the mark-1 mod-0 deodorant but I must have had a big interview or was traveling and forgot to pack some... Read More