Writhing In My Insect Fear

I don’t like how sometimes you can see light through your fingers.  It reminds me how thin humans are.  My soul has felt pretty thin lately. Aside from that there have been a rash of people that have tried to find me, search me out.  Let me pose this warning to all would be glory seekers; I am to you as the yeti to the Himalayan explorer – exciting and dangerous all at once.  A beer keg in the trunk of a cop car.  It has been said by... Read More

Mia and Me

I recently switched from Ana, the illegal Mexican maid who was stealing all my DVD’s and threw away all my goddamn vintage newspapers because she thought they were trash, to Mia, my new awesome Finnish house cleaner.  Ok first of all, yeah, I have a fucking house cleaner.  Why?  Just like Disney movies brainwash girls into the Cinderella syndrome, my mom brainwashed me into not wanting to clean my own goddamn house.  So yes, I have a maid. ... Read More

Men Without Eyes Multiply Like Flies

Another weekend is stalking me.  I worked nights all this week.  I’m not really complaining, I kind of like the schedule.  Not really the hours so much, but the shake up.  I like being forced to stay up and do things I wouldn’t ordinarily do.  I often put myself into situations where I know I will be forced into certain scenarios that will fuck with me in different ways.  More than just the philosophical mumbo-jumbo though, I just like the... Read More

My Armpits

“So like what the fuck is going on with my armpits?” I thought to myself in the shower this morning.  My deodorant must be fucking me up or something.  It’s that antiperspirant kind, you know, so you don’t look like a 70’s tennis player in the middle of your board meeting.  I don’t know why I even have that kind – I usually go for the mark-1 mod-0 deodorant but I must have had a big interview or was traveling and forgot to pack some... Read More

Scarborough Fair

I wanted to knock the rust off my video editing skills so I put this little video together.  I had a pretty rough breakup not too long ago and I’ve been reflecting heavily about it.  The impossibility and paradox of this song coupled with the violence of war seemed an appropriate tribute to lost love. Traditionally the song tells the tale of a young man, who tells the listener to ask his former lover to perform for him a series of impossible... Read More

Art of the Asshole

A giant stinking pile of people have established the argument that the points I make here could be expressed with less venom. The largest contributing factor being the CultFit article. Essentially these people are telling me to “be nice”.  I irreverently make fun of shit when I could have written a carefully inoffensive and amiable little thesis regarding said topic.  They say that I shouldn’t exaggerate, don’t say mean things about people,... Read More

Ultraviolence

Where am I and where have I been? I am nobody, been nowhere, done nothing – a victim of the modern age. I’ve been watching a bunch of those old Japanese Samurai movies lately, Kirosawa films in particular. Fucking amazing! The Seven Samurai, the grizzled old samurai at the end of the epic battle… “We live again.” No ego, no bragging, no celebration. Skill and intelligence played a part, but his survival was pure chance. He could have... Read More

The Ruins of Eire ’09

Ireland, 2009 My camera broke halfway through this trip – fml – but there was much exploration to be had… Euro mtv.. ok what the fuck.. literally dog ugly women.  Like straight up fucking nasty.. I mean, this is the information age… you can’t find a girl who is hot and can kind of halfway sing as well?  Is that too much to ask?  Most of your goddamn eurotrash music is techno beats and stupid sounds anyway, the least you could... Read More