Holy Shatner

AKPC_IDS += "5998,";Popularity: 1% [?] Read More

The Self-Licking Ice-Cream Cone

It’s this goddamn heat.  I stumble around my apartment sipping whiskey in only my underpants.  My guitars are all thrown out of tune.  My drunken fingers pluck mellifluous chords as my whiskey voice bellows deep of an unrelenting sorrow.  My pores open up, sweat comes out.  I’m oozing life and there’s nothing or nobody to soak it up.  I stand on my back balcony, hot wind like a lover’s hand, rubs against my crotch. Ahhh yes.  Give it... Read More

Black Maria

It was just another day in the coal mines.   I was sitting in a bar on 30th Street.  It was around midnight and I was in my usual bewildered state.  I mean, you know, nothing works right: the women, the weather, the economy, the bums, the streetlights.  Finally you just sit in a kind of stricken state and wait like you’re on the bus stop bench waiting for death.  People lose their minds on bus stop benches, I see them arguing with phantoms... Read More

Sinking Ship

I woke up in Serina’s apartment Sunday morning, still drunk.  Yeah, she’s that stripper that went war wacky and started cluster-bombing me with calls at 3am every night.  That’s right, that same Serina that sent me that handmade gift box and told everyone in her club that I was “born to fuck”.  As my bro texted me when I was pondering a hot extract at 8am ‘You are proper fucked’.  How did I get here?  Where is Johnny?  Did Serina... Read More

Snowden

I am wandering the cold wet streets alone at night as dark figures slither in and out of shadows.  A conspiracy of whispers and crooked gestures with gnarled hands in the periphery.  Until their tenuous union is shattered by a tin can rattling on the concrete and they are gone.  Evaporating into the neon afterlife.  Only the haunting cry of a stray cat stalks my feet as they grind broken glass against black gravel in the off-color rainbow of grease... Read More

Hissing Cockroach

“Piss on you!”  Shirley screamed at me.  She’s the evil old lady that lives below me, just to set the record straight.  “Piss on you!”  I was stunned, laughing my ass off.  I had asked her not to have her construction people park in my spot.  They did it three days in a row and each time I reminded her to stay out of my parking spot.  Look, it’s a minor issue I know, but as I told her, I have never parked in her spot and there... Read More

The Ecdysiast Dilemma

I woke up this morning on my couch with a hangover.  Yeah, welcome to my life.  My phone lay blinking on the coffee table, its tiny red eye telling me that I probably used it to conduct despicable deeds deep in the throes of another hypnotic drunk.  I start pulling memories from my head like weeds as I rummage through the pizza boxes that lay ravaged on the kitchen counter for a few edible scraps.  I had been up late listening to records and reading... Read More

Robot Monster

I shuffle up the stairs to my condo.  Another long day into a late night.  I’ve been working nights for a month now.  My face feels hot and itchy.  My body aches.  I feel constantly nauseated.  My eyes weep with exhaustion.  I’ve been using energy drinks to keep going, two, then three a day.  Just to get up, get my boots on, finish my workout.  I haven’t been eating right, starving myself.  7-11 has become my blood bank.  My body... Read More

Nadaam, Nietzsche, New World Order

I escaped Siberia, a spoiled wilderness enslaved by a desperate and defeated people.  There must be scenic solitude somewhere on this earth, sought refuge in Mongolia, no dice.  Ulaan Bataar is a bustling shit town, dirtier than it appears.  The Mongolians, I call them Mongoloids simply because I’m an irreverent fuck, seem a friendly and proud people.  They are living through the slow rape of the last of their legacy.  These are not a large... Read More

After the Fall

We fly out of Alaska in the complaint addled escape from slightly rainy weather. My clients want sunlight, they want clear skies, and hopefully their disquiet mixes with jet exhaust and is left far behind. On the flight, an attempted molestation turns into a malediction of malice. I am forced to pretend I am asleep while nauseating efforts are made to separate me from my honor. I suppose when you have unlimited funds and are used to getting everything... Read More