Your Music Sucks! (and so do you)

What the hell is going on with music these days? I don’t know if it’s because this is a generation of whiny little emo bitches or if the fact that live studio recordings are completely extinct but music today fucking sucks. Songs are just a collection of a thousand sound-bites, probably unable to be played as they are recorded by the very bands that release the songs.  Audio tracks are compressed, equalized, and squeezed into a limited range... Read More

Exodus 9:23

When Moses stretched out his staff toward the sky, the LORD sent thunder and hail, and lightning flashed down to the ground. So the LORD rained hail on the land of Egypt; -Exodus 9:23 It’s 1 o’clock in the morning. I’ve been drinking vodka and Jagermeister. It’s the end of a long week. The last thing I want to hear is the frantic gospel madness of the Black Beast. Yeah, the same Black Beast who started trying to exorcize my girlfriend... Read More

Sprague or a Donkey (.com)

The crew had assembled, beers were being drained at a record pace, many subjects were debated until somehow the focal sum of all our wonderings was directed at one question.  One question to rule them all. Would you rather have sex with Sprague or a donkey? Seemingly an innocent enough query, but much truth lay in the divination of ones answer.  Perhaps the very core of a person’s being is the wellspring from which the answer to this pondering... Read More

Snuff Film

“As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from a troubled dream, he found himself changed in his bed to some monstrous kind of vermin.” AKPC_IDS += "4601,";Popularity: 1% [?] Read More

Video Games Don’t Make You Violent

Pure comedy.  A friend and I had an idea the other day to create an invention that sprays acid through the tv screen – this guy would be my first victim (if he wasn’t already my hero) YAY! AKPC_IDS += "3869,";Popularity: 5% [?] Read More

Chihuahua in a Microwave

Today I found myself in an unexpected series of circumstances which left me something of a hero in my gym. I work out at the 24 Hour Fitness, and I generally keep to myself. I see all the other gym rats in there all the time. Most of them fall into at least one of the commonly accepted categories. Almost like a John Hughes archetype, they find their socially suitable equilibrium and never deviate. Some are there merely to peacock in front of... Read More

Zeitgeist (full movie)

Required viewing for all modern apes.  Zeitgeist: The Movie – Full, Final version What do Christianity, 9/11 and The Federal Reserve all have in common? AKPC_IDS += "3842,";Popularity: 5% [?] Read More

On Hold…

My life is turning into pure garbage. I’ve cashed in my freedom for a stake in society and just like a spiteful cunt society will never forget and is making me pay for all my years of wandering. I bought a house, got a straight job, cut my hair, and started taking an active role in making a positive change beyond the scope of my own life. It was a tragic mistake that I may never recover from because the motherfuckers have their hooks in me now.... Read More

The Death of Democracy

It all started with a camel. Myself and a couple buddies sitting around bored at work start shooting the shit, one thing leads to another and before anyone knew it we were all balls deep in a probing socio-political discourse. It was one of those rare conversations where you go all the way down the rabbit hole and come out the other end affected by simply the act of discussion with other non-zombies. These types of conversations are the bitter... Read More

James Earl Ray Day

A brand new door, a drunken beat down, and the worst parade ever – MLK weekend go fuck yourself. The story begins on Friday.  The end of a long and busy week.  All I wanted to do was drink my mind into another dimension and maybe eat some greasy food to cap it off.  I headed down to the Waterfront in Little Italy.  Seemed like just what the doctor ordered.  It was out of the way, quiet, peaceful, and a little classier than the places I’ve... Read More