A friend recently got back into town from a dusty yet uneventful overseas deployment and after a phone call we met up the other night at the Whistle Stop for some cold beers and Connect-Four.  Tuesday night is game night at the W/S, and nowadays it’s the best night to rip that place up ever since the weekends became the equivalent of playing twister with a hundred pale nerds wearing tight jeans in a rickety cattle car.  As the DJ spun soothing geeky techno, somewhere between the cold-daddies and the oldschool Atari being projected on the far wall I ended up knocking over his brew all the fuck over him.  Dude was drenched.  Well I felt super bad, got up to get him a towel and a fresh beer when I overheard some chick say “That guy totally soaked his posh”.

‘Posh’… ?

My hearing is garbage, but she clearly said “posh”.  Not crotch, or cock, or balls, or ass, or any other common term for all the stuff in that region.  It occurred to me that I had possibly just heard a new name for the chode.  This I found quite intriguing because I had traveled from near to far on this dirt-ball.  Heard and seen things that would make most puke with excitement.  And yet in all my travels I had never heard of the mystical “posh”.

Of all body parts it seems that the chode attracts an uncommonly large amount and varied collection of names.  What is a chode?  Snap the fuck out of it prude.  Aside from the insultory usage which essentially equates a person to a douche-bag, ass-clown, fuck-tard, or tool, “chode” is a term that refers to the territory between your stink-hole and your junk.  That’s right you creep, no man’s land.  The word “chode” comes from the mid 1800′s when this was thought to be a muscle.  In 1879, it first showed up in medical books as Chodimus Maximus, and was later shortened to Chode in 1903.  In 1920 it was discovered to actually not be a muscle after all and renamed to “perineum” or “perianal-area”, which is defined as the area of soft tissue (covering the muscles and ligaments of the pelvic floor) between the genitals and the anus, but the name “chode” stuck.

Over the years I have encountered many a name for the beloved chode.  Among them are;

Taint – Simply because it ‘taint your balls and taint your ass’.

Gooch – Which I always thought was funny because it’s the name of my mom’s cat.

Grundle – Reminds me of the monster from Beowulf, but no idea of its origin.

Durf – The hallway from the hot dog stand to the men’s room.

Bonch – The prime piece of real estate located conveniently between Scrotumburg and Anusville.

Nifkin – The ‘nifty piece of skin’ that connects the browneye to the teabag.

Barse – From the British, between your bollocks and arse.

Tween – I think this one is self explanatory.

Nacho – Of Mexican origins, please refer to Taint.

Bridge – The biffin bridge, or even the stinkers bridge.

Banus – Please refer to Barse.

Twitter – A social networking and microblogging service utilizing instant messaging, SMS, or a web interface.

Womfer – I have no fucking idea… It sounds kind of Australian.

and

Yeech – Used to express extreme shock and astonishment, also defines something as disgusting.

And now possibly “Posh”?  Well I for one like it.  It has a regal air about it.  Like royalty.  Like the chode of a king.  Cheers!

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