“CultFit”
Over the last several years I have witnessed a disturbing trend in the realm of physical fitness. The movement known as CrossFit touting its “functional fitness” has spread like genital herpes in a frat house. Ordinarily I would embrace any tendencies by the general public towards physical fitness, being that I decry the horrors of obesity and its prevalence in our culture today. Unfortunately, CrossFit, more aptly named “CultFit”, embodies all the tenets of training hypocrisy and mindless exercise zealotries that would make any halfway intelligent person want to gouge his eyes out with protein bars. CrossFit is America’s self-styled fitness elite which orders its followers to cultivate a distinctly martial, if not totally paranoid, ideal of “physical preparedness.” In a nutshell, CrossFit is total garbage.
“Your workout is our warm-up”, the cultists chant. A cacophony of clanking kettle bells and the exaggerated thumps of bumper weighted bar bells abandoned midair at the apex of their extension by mindless followers are the reinvented sounds of battle in a fitness war being waged against common sense. Every day devotees consult the CultFit website like a Book of Common Prayer, receiving instructions for their workout rites and periods of rest.
The CultFit website forum is the foundation of the CultFit ministry. On a typical day, some 200 people post responses to the workout in a feverish fitness ‘facebook’. It’s an exercise phenomenon uniquely dependent upon modern connectivity. That is to say, CultFit couldn’t exist without lots of viral video, social networking, and an expansive platform for international, demographically varied community interaction. It’s not just an exercise routine, it’s a lifestyle. Like Chairman Mao dictating the orders of the day to all his peoples, the main CultFit website dictates its daily WOD to all the affiliates who in turn merely parrot the parent command to their worshippers. Want to simply go to the CultFit gym, use the equipment and do your own thing? Well you’re in for a surprise, membership precludes individuation. That’s right, group sessions only, the official WOD only.
I want to stuff a dollar in your waist strap!
Many of the official demo videos feature women, generally attractive women, conducting grueling workout routines. And you know I have to hand it to them, the women are hot (if not somewhat mannish). There are literally hundreds of pictures and videos swirling around the internet of ripped CultFit chicks working out. There is nothing that fires me up quicker than a badass fitness chick getting after it in the gym, but I have to tell you that I’ve never been a fan of bitches that cake on make-up just to go work out. More than anything I am irritated by watching chicks cry after finishing their routines. They act like it was the emotional pinnacle of their existence, some bizarre epiphany caught magically on video. What the fuck is wrong with you!? You merely finished your workout – get over yourself!
"Mr. CrossFit" (oh my bad)
Now these CultFit girls are not your garden variety bored housewives trying to spark a gym fling or turn a few heads, it’s actually something much more selfish. I suppose in their viral video they don’t want to look like a total sea-hag, but motivation by ego and not results is hardly an argument for the program regardless of physique. Maybe there is an ego piece that all athletes and exercisers possess, and yes, there are mirrors in every gym. I’m just not going to debase my sense of self and adulterate my personal gains by videotaping myself working out and posting it all over the internet. This is truly modern fitness masturbation, tantamount to ‘girls gone wild’ in a gym.
There is another element at work here, albeit a subtle one. CultFit flaunts intensity, as do many exercise programs. CultFit also seems very focused on form and ‘proper movement’, but there is a difference between form and technique. Proper form can be expressed in any venue of exercise, as a particular condition, character, or method in which something is done. Correct form is objective, based upon science and physiology, concepts outside the individual and the program as well. Technique is subjective, it is the manner and ability with which an artist, writer, dancer, athlete, or the like employs the technical skills of a particular art or field of endeavor. Two athletes of equal fitness levels could both perform the “Fran” workout and get vastly different times simply because one is using a quicker technique. A perfect example of this is the distinction between the pull-up and the “butterfly pull-up”. How then can this be in any way a measure of fitness or performance? What about intensity? How can a subjective existential quality be measured? In someone’s Fran time, I don’t think so. Perhaps intensity is measured in devotion to CultFit.
Although this guy is a total toolbag with faggy shorts, the demo is a simple, yet effective, illustration of the muscles affected as well as the basic movements of the pull up.
Now observe the bizarre CultFit complexity that has adapted from the pull up. No comment on the potential risks to joins and tendons inherent with this technique. How is this “functional fitness”.
A CultFit routine including pull-ups would allow either type (butterfly or regular), although the two can hardly even be called the same exercise.
CultFit is the epitome of successful marketing on a foundation of dogshit philosophy. How exactly they were able to convince people that everyone should be doing the exact same workouts regardless of age, abilities, specific needs, or goals is completely beyond the scope of reason. The foundation of the entire program flies in the face of everything that has been learned about human performance and stress physiology over the last 50 years.
Perhaps a testament to CultFit success is in the general malaise that has set upon the American people. When everyone is desperately struggling for attention and acceptance it is not difficult to convince them that doing 5 minute exercise routines picked randomly out of a hat is a smart way to train. Since the workouts are very short and following a WOD requires no thought process or planning from participants it becomes mindlessly easy for the braindead zombie followers of this backwards fitness religion. If you train for any specific purpose at all I would highly recommend learning the basics of programming rather than just following some claptrap program that has no scientific basis behind it or rational planning involved in it whatsoever. CultFit is the Scientology fast food of the exercise world.
Admittedly, CultFit is better than much of what I see going on in the gym. The problem is this, weights plus momentum equals a potential for injury. It’s just that simple. Now add competition into the mix, in addition to the subjective nature of CultFitters technique and intensity. Performing heavy explosive lifts and training completely randomly without being physically prepared to do these things is a recipe for disaster in the long run. I know many CultFitters who have suffered injuries to joints and tendons as well as more serious and debilitating physical damage. The amount of training injuries alone is expressive of the hazards of the CultFit ‘curriculum’. There is no training progression, no periodization, or methodical approach whatsoever. Maybe most people in a regular gym don’t get peak results, but at least most of them aren’t getting injured either.
It is fundamentally flawed to believe that having no structure in a program means it will produce general results and that this is somehow better than specific training. There is no such thing as a jack of all trades physiologically speaking, a marathon runner will never be a powerlifter and vice versa. Even somewhere in the middle specific adaptations will always apply. Throwing a bunch of methods together at random doesn’t mean the body gets better at everything. Additionally, there are much better ways of progressively developing “general” fitness that will improve health than CultFit’s haphazard approach. Just watch the CultFit games and witness for yourself the total physical devastation of CultFitters simply attempting to run seven miles. Seven miles!? Some trainers, Gym Jones for example, even use what you might call the CultFit style of intensity in their daily routines but without claiming that they invented the push-up or demanding adherance to a cult ideology. On top of that, Gym Jones actually identifies a tangible goal or endstate for the individual that they will then craft their routines towards accomplishing.
“We do your stuff almost as good as you, you can’t do our stuff at all and we do stuff neither of us does way better than you can,” the cultists will scream. This is a very confrontational statement with no testable results to back it up. To that I simply say that I have done your workouts better than even some of your most devoted followers. I have walked into your gyms and crushed some of your best times. You have a great Fran time (ostensibly the benchmark CultFit workout) well that’s great, but the truth is this; doing CultFit only makes you good at CultFit. Getting faster times on your CultFit routines is a measure of skill at CultFit and not of fitness or performance. With no goals there can be no plan, with no plan there can be no attack, and with no attack there can be no victory.
Throwing the potential for injury to the wind, abandoning reason in place of popularity, and embracing an unquestioning lifestyle of fitness communism must be liberating. I truly enjoy working out with likeminded and motivated individuals. Individuals being the operant word. God knows I love exercise and constantly hunger for competition, but I am not so devoid as to physically and intellectually consign myself to martyrdom like the rank and file CultFit disciples. This is exercise for vanity not for longevity; this is an ideological struggle for an imagined moment of heroism that will never come.
Bitch tits, a fat gut, and he knows the proper form of how to gently caress a nutsack!
With every cult there is a cult leader, and CultFit is no different. Enter one of the biggest fuck-tards in the known universe Greg Glassman. CultFit’s founder, Greg Glassman, is referred to by his disciples simply as “Coach”. A former gymnast who put his program online in 2001, Glassman is known for his impatience with exercisers who fear injury: “There’s nothing about crashing that makes you drive faster, right? But you’re not going to learn to drive real fast unless you’ve wrecked once or twice.” What the fuck is this inscrutable bullshit!? In brazen, inventive, hortatory speeches and prose, he leans on the concept of “forging,” blacksmith style. His Web site is “forging elite fitness,” and his message board is “forging elite community.” CultFit represents a ministry for Glassman, who is intent on drafting and redrafting his program — so intent, in fact, that he has said he works out inconsistently. Physically Glassman is nothing to speak of, fat and out of shape even, hardly what one would expect from the leader of a supposed fitness revolution.
Glassman fancies himself the grand vizier of his burgeoning fitness ministry. With bellowing and dogmatic seminars and psych-up speeches that make you sit like a sheep and think that you finally understand the secret of existence. “If you say, ‘I will not take my intensity past where the form goes bad,’ the intensity will never develop!” Coach cries into the vacuous crowd. The CultFitters unquestioningly eating his shit like soft-serve ice cream without even realizing that this statement is a contradiction of the entire religion.
Of all the things I hate about exercise culture, the thing I hate most is pontificating about ethos. Exercise should be kind of primitive and stupid and mostly physical; it should not require flourishes and perfect sneakers and 10 sessions of learning minutiae before you even break a sweat. Demo videos for exercises should show you what the body can do, how strong a body can be. It should not exist to worry you that you’ll never do anything right, sell fear, be a showcase for vanity, or foster derision. Maybe that’s all just part of the marketing gimmick. You are fundamentally flawed, but come to CultFit and we can fix you, almost like original sin for athletes.
Some would argue that CultFit has outgrown its creator, but not Glassman. He equates his program to the Second Coming. Well that is if the Second Coming cost $1000 for a level one certification and $150/month gym fees. That’s right, CultFit is mega expensive.
It takes two days of training and a thousand dollars cold hard cash to receive your Level 1 Certification from CultFit. You heard me correctly, $1000 and two days to learn 9 basic movements. The Certifications are run at one of the many CultFit Affiliates over the weekend usually, and CultFit conducts 2-3 per weekend. There are 60 people in each class. Simple math, $60,000 for one weekend of CultFit Level 1 Certification at one location. So after opening up their doors and permitting use of their facility and equipment, how much money does each Affiliate gym get out of each of these certifications? Nothing. Not one penny. All the cash goes back to the company with not one penny ending up in the hands of the gym owners. Well what about Affiliate fees you say? Ok, shit, you got me – Affiliates have to pay $2000 to apply for Affiliation and $1000 a year after that. Cha-ching!?
I can think of a lot of things I learned in two days, but mastery over physical fitness was not one of them. I don’t think there’s a professional coach of any athletic program in the country that was merely certified in two days and then took charge of that program. But these educated, intelligent, and experienced professionals are exactly the people that CultFit is in a theoretical dispute with. CultFit ardently attacks these myopic “specialists”, or athletes who they say neglect versatility in order to refine one or two skills. The CultFitters’ critique has chastened more than one specialist. “Specialization is for insects,” the CultFitters chant, yet specialists from other arenas show up and perform highly, even outperforming most CultFitters. Meanwhile, CultFitters don’t notice that they’re all busy ‘specializing’ in their little WODs and demanding everyone use their brand of measuring stick.
Additionally, there are a myriad other certifications out there to become a personal trainer. Some are generally valued and others are pure crap, but none runs over roughly $500 bucks. On the other hand, some personal trainers go to college for years to earn degrees and learn the nuances and intricacies of anatomy, kinesiology, and human performance. CultFit will advertise that form is always adhered to because all the guided workouts are at the behest of one of their certified coaches. Well aside from a giant wad of greenbacks and a spare weekend it doesn’t take a whole hell of a lot to receive that certification. This is yet another arrow pointing towards the movement’s cultish aura, unfortunately this also has underpinnings of multi-level marketing and unscrupulous financial dealings if not outright dishonesty. Don’t worry about merchandising either – you can get everything you need to fuel your cultish devotion at their online store from t-shirts to pregnancy tests. “What about the next generation?” you desperately cry… Never fear, there’s CultFit for Kids too.
Uncle Rhabdo: I just farted blood ;-P lol!
Now it is widely known that some professional athletes have used illegal substances to enhance performance. Some have been injured and even died because of it. Professional athletics generally refrain from celebrating these actions. CultFit on the other hand takes a different approach. Not to illegal performance enhancing drugs, to my knowledge, but to personal safety. Take a look at “Uncle Rhabdo” one of the network’s mascots. Rhabdo is a clown-headed figure often shown vomiting; who suffers from rhabdomyolysis, a dangerous condition in which damaged muscle tissue enters the bloodstream. Many a CultFitter has suffered from this condition. The clown is worshiped only half in jest by the CultFit crowd, which see exercise-induced injury as ritual suicide for the cause. In a 2005 interview, Glassman said of CultFit: “It can kill you… I’ve always been completely honest about that.”
Ok. Relax. Let’s take a minute to breathe here. I want to make sure that this next point is made abundantly clear. Studies of the psychological aspects of cults focus on the individual person, and factors relating to the choice to become involved as well as the subsequent effects on individuals. Under one view, an important factor is coercive persuasion which suppresses the ability of people to reason, think critically, and make choices in their own best interest.
Studies of religious, political, and other cults have identified a number of key steps in this type of coercive persuasion:
- People are put in physically or emotionally distressing situations;
- Their problems are reduced to one simple explanation, which is repeatedly emphasized;
- They receive unconditional love, acceptance, and attention from a charismatic leader;
- They get a new identity based on the group;
- They are subject to entrapment (isolation from friends, relatives, and the mainstream culture) and their access to information is severely controlled.
CrossFit is a cult.
CultFitters are put in physically and emotionally distressing situations.
CultFitters fitness problems are reduced to one simple explanation… “Functional fitness”.
CultFit advertizes themselves as a tight-knit community with “Coach” as their charismatic leader.
CultFit itself creates a general identity. CultFit gyms around the country, all with various names and monikers, create the localized group identity. Handles, callsigns, and screen names posted on the online forums express the adherents’ new internet CultFit identity. Even real names take on new meaning in the subculture as the cultists are reborn into their CultFit identity.
The CultFit philosophy is faith-based and exclusive. Look on the CultFit message board itself. Articles are created, deleted – criticisms posted, rebuked, then evaporate into thin air. There is an ominous totalitarian element in the information control that is exercised by CultFit online.
CrossFit is a cult.
Ask yourself just a couple simple questions:
Which martial art is best?
Which ice cream is best?
Are sunrises or sunsets better?
Everything has strengths and weaknesses. Everything is good and bad. CrossFit does have its merits. Believe it or not I have enjoyed doing some of the routines and I have incorporated some of the exercises into my own personal fitness regimen, but listen to me very carefully all you would-be CultFitters; Beware any person that says that they have the answer. The only answer is that there is no answer. No single answer that is, there are many, and in a democracy sometimes the opinion you hate most and makes the least sense is screaming the loudest. CultFit is entitled to their opinion, something that they do not permit of outsiders, but that opinion is only valid if it can be sustained and substantiated by the worth of its own merits, the value of its argument. A philosophy of any kind must stand on its own and endure criticism regardless of how loudly its worshippers preach it or how fervently they believe in it. Even a drug dealer will sell you crack while arguing that it is harmless. You know I fully expect this very article to be misquoted, flamed, spammed, and generally denegrated by the CultFit crowd, and you know what – bring it, me no care. But make up your own goddamn mind, that’s part of being a fucking human. Just hear this; beware an exclusive and dangerous ideology that is prone to injury and isolation. CrossFit is not a fitness regimen, it is an unhealthy lifestyle. CrossFit is not an exercise ideology, it is a cult. Good luck.
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hello! to bad that whatever the articles point was, got lost in name calling and drama – or was that the point? i am a crossfitter – and it is definitely not for everyone, just like swimming or any other activity. the people and trainers i have met are awsome, fit balanced, funny and knowledgeable. after going to gyms for years, crossfit has proven to be a fabulous group-yet-personal training experience. no need to either slam it or promote it for everyone. everyone should find what works for them and lets’ celebrate fitness as a whole!
I attended a level 1 cert, tried the program for a while to check overall improvement. I will tell you, I have focused my entire adult life on overall fitness. Crossfit steals ideas from time tested fitness programs and good old fashion compound Olympic style lifting. They throw some woman’s name on it and now it’s theirs! Only those who have never known real fitness fall for this garble. Any conditioned athlete will stay away. If you have no fitness goals and are not involved in athletic competition in any way, sure this will get you off the couch to burn some calories and get stronger. The average cross fitter’s bodies look pathetic and they don’t perform at any serious level on any normal athletic competition. There are some very fit followers of this stuff, but ALL of them that I have met were in excellent shape in some other sport prior to starting crossfit. All of the instructors that taught my level 1 course fall into this category. The certainly put their best in front of their students, the old “you could look like me” salesmanship died along time ago. I was shunned by the instructors for asking a few critical questions. The instructors made a comment to the effect of “If you put one of our instructors up against Mark Allen the most successful iron man in history, our guy will win in anything other than a long swim, long bike or long run I guarantee it!” If that isn’t the biggest load of complete bullshit you have ever heard, you are a good candidate for Cultfit.
Knowledgeable? I have been through the Level 1 Cert and Kettlebell Instructor Cert. Both were very disappointing and I would gladly take a refund. The instructor for the level 1 contradicted himself several times, but the people in class were too busy thinking about which CF video they were going to masturbate to later. He thought that because he’s an ER doctor that he knows everything, dead wrong! The level 1 is now “accredited” by the ANSI. The American National Standards Institute has NOTHING to do with health, fitness, or exercise. My brother took a test when he was a teenager through the ANSI to get a cert for using landscaping chemicals! So does that mean he can teach CF? or can the CF instructors use lawn chemicals? Look at the ANSI site and you won’t see anything exercise related. If CF isn’t dangerous, why does Greg Glassman walk around like he just got hit by a truck? Clearly their “functional” exercises performed with high intensity til your form goes to shit is actually dysfunctional. The KB instructor Jeff Martone is another product of their program. He started out the class by telling how many times his shoulder and other joints were reconstructed and how many times he’s been injured. The class said he’s an “animal.” Clearly Jeff and the people in class are idiots and should not be teaching people to do the same things that destroyed his body. This article is great. One of my PT clients asked her friend who happens to be a CF level 1 instructor a question about form. His response, “we don’t learn that stuff, we’re kinda like fake trainers.”(CF Atlanta) There’s much more I’d love to say, but it’s dinner time and I’ve wasted enough energy on CF already. Great article. These people should be made fun of for trying so hard to fit in!
ROFLMAO
I love all the trainers going around claiming to be ‘certified’ …even the guys are the high-end gyms…certified by who?by what?
hahaha nice comment and a great article.
They just kicked out Robb Wolf and Greg Everett. Who is next? Greg Glassman must have lost his mind to kick out such great people.
And why is he afraid of IronGarm?
Bill
I’ve read Robb’s blog about the whole ‘Black Box Summit’ bullshit and even in his own blog he comes off sounding kind of like a pussy (I am kind of an expert on blogs). Other than that – yeah, ego. Bottom line, it needs to be removed from the science of fitness.. well unless you’re running a fitness regime based on emotions not facts. Then you’re cleared hot.
Huh?
Robb Wolf is one of the coolest cats I’ve come across.
You kinda sound like a pussy yourself, brah.
How can you be “sort of an expert”? That makes about as much sense of most of your article.
I suspect that you might not survive the zombie apocalypse. That’s the real secret to CrossFit. We’re training to outrun the zombies.
CrossFit IS a cult. I know people who do this junk and it’s amazing how they have changed. Feed people enough bullshit and they’ll fall for anything. It’s crazy how these freaks put crossfit infront of time with their own family. 7 days a week? Give me a break…and dangerous too…don’t tell me it’s not, I’m a med student and the strain they put on their bodies and the motions and techniques used are dangerous. Give it up. Next thing they’re going to do is ask you to drink the kool-aid…
Ive been doing crossfit for 2 years. Ive been to a box a few times, and everyone in there was way cool. Not your typical meatheads with steriod attitude. I don’t think its cultish at all. There maybe fanatics, but you get that with any sport people. Biking, whatever. All I know is this
1. Never injured, and I hit it pretty hard
2. Times have always gotten better
3. Way stronger than I have ever been in my life. Ever.
Im ready for some zombies.
Just like anything. You like the insanity program, p90x, your typical 3 sets of 10 workout, then do what works best for you. For me at the age of 35, crossfit has worked better than anything, and I just do it by myself and learn off of the web.
OK, I’m very, very, very late to this party. I’m 37, and I’d agree with everything J. just said. (We’re not the same person. I”m older and probably in worse shape). I’ve only seen improvement, and I’ve actually recovered from overtraining injuries from my previous life as a bodybuilder.
I do the workouts at home. Sometimes I sub in other stuff. I can’t afford to go to a box, and the people at the box are very cool about it. The only money I’ve spent is on a medicine ball and a pair of rings. The Crossfit people on the message boards are beyond cool, and they are very supportive. I’ve only run into a couple of dbags, and that’s a hell of a better ratio than at the gym.
I’ll grant you that Greg Glassman does kind of seem like a loose cannon. And he does look like his best athletic days are behind him. But I know that I have seen great results: PRs on military press, squat, front squat, deadlift, clean, snatch, 5k, 400m run, 500m row, and I’m doing muscle ups–something I couldn’t do while slinging iron at the globo-gym. Down 2 notches on my belt. Feeling great. Short workouts mean MUCH MORE time for my family.
Author: you really failed on your homework here. The main site on crossfit states that there are scaled versions of the workouts available, and that your grandmother won’t be doing the same workout as a cage fighter. Of course, your grandmother would probably slap you for writing such unresearched bullshit.
Hey guys,
I do CF currently and have really been enjoying myself. I come from a background of weight lifting and running and have noticed my own results are best when I train in a good environment ie good coaches and people pushing to improve. I also come from a background in exercise physiology and have trained some sporting teams and athletes over a 15 year period and I have to say I am impressed with how its taught in the gym I attend. I do find the programming random from time to time but hey if I dont like it I just stay home and do my own thing….not a big deal really. Most of the time though I look forward to going and having a crack at the days event and testing myself against the other guys there. CF does a few things differently but I havent really had any major issues. To be honest its just nice to train in a decent gym with other people keen to improve instead of the local gym where everyone walks on treadmills and watches tv.
Anyway I cant comment on some of your assertions about CF because I dont know anything about the politics (or dont care). I have to say some of my lifts have improved since joining but I would say that is down to the quality of the coaches we have at the gym. I guess that is a big variable from the sounds of what people have written about their local gym.
cheers
Yeah, you gotta smooth it out, man. You come off kinda sounding like a total nutjob. Crossfit definitely has its zealots, but it also has a bunch of people getting out and getting fit.
You have some weird misunderstandings, too. Crossfit is free. Each day, the programming is published for free. There are tons of videos for free. And if you ever went to crossfit.com, you’d see that nearly all — if not all — of the comments are by people doing the workout outside of affiliates.
Be more specific about your criticism. Don’t like affiliates? Fine, cool. But the shit you spout on and on about shows that you haven’t done any homework.
Whatever, man.
Really? You deleted my comments?
What a joke of a site.
Ha ha… I don’t delete comments off this site you retard – you’re just too dumb to find your own shit.
I think this is a great article; anyone who cannot laugh at this should take a step back and re-evaluate their approach to fitness.
Yesterday I walked into my local CultFit because I really wanted to row, but don’t have a C2 rower at my house. I asked if I could give them a few bucks, row 5k, and leave. Based on their reaction, you would think I asked to urinate on their floor, punch their wives in the face, and then rob the place.
“Umm that’s not the WOD today bro, it’s .”
“Yep, I just want to use your rower, is that cool?”
And that’s when the faces went truly blank. It’s almost like I gave them a brief glimpse at the training plan they could have too if they knew the first thing about periodization, and had actual goals for which they were training.
“You live in the land of denial, and they say the view is pretty as long as you remain asleep.” – Mark Twight
Sorry to hear that man. I run an affiliate out of my garage and I personally would have let you do exactly what you wanted. I also would have talked story with you afterwards and maybe give you some tips before the row if youd wanted to hear them. Not all owners or affilitates are mindless drones of CrossFit Inc. though they are strong in numbers. Good article I think and my personal belief is its good if it meets the requirement. Most owners I know do their own programming and do have some periodization or at least tell their clients what it is. Most people don’t know what the fuck their doing no matter where they go. Just my two cents
Glassman has always stated that if someone comes up with something better, then he will embrace it with open arms.
To the author; come up with something better and we will all listen.
Chris,
Glassman should actually work out before offering advice.
WOW! I for one can say that you truly need to re-evaluate the statements you have made in this article.
You obviously have no true understanding of CrossFit.
So why isnt your commercial gym a cult? why isnt a fitness/body bulding mag a cult? They are.
To be such a critic on this subject involves study in order to make statments like these.
Very interesting perspective. I just wish I had the time and energy that you devoted to this article. I mean what a waste. You need to take a good look in the mirror as I am sure you will see that all the BS you just wrote about is just a reflection of your own insecurities…
Reformed Cross…CultFitter here…Look this is a bit tongue in cheek, and as a previous poster replied with take a step back…take a breath…and let it come in, it’s FUNNY! That aside, this is one of the more interesting posts i have seen in response to the CultFit phenomenon, the other being Dan John’s article on his break from “The Group” haha. I loved doing CrossFit, it was a lot of fun…for a while, then i realized that i could implement things that i enjoyed with END GOALS in sight and stil do some of the CrossFit-esque workouts on my own. You can still use their workouts, but why follow a program based in….extreme variance, that’s like having a diet made up of lets say healthy food only, but you eat something different every day, what if by accident you eat only protein for a month? think you’ll have issues? yes. Naysayers will scream “But they are eating healthy organic food!?” yeah who cares? it’s still not good for you. Anyways, i like doing my own thing, getting strong, staying fit and healthy and my job requires it, but Crossfit is a little silly thinking it is a fitness end-all, they don’t come right out and say it, but seriously, there are people on the forum that have their own Crossfit periodized workouts BECAUSE they weren’t getting the strength training they wanted out of the current blather of a program presented by the main site and the subsidiary affiliates.
In retrospect the Crossfit movement will be seen as something that helped people realize that YES we can perform well after using compound basic movements, but they just showed people a different way to look at “the wheel” they didn’t invent the damn thing.
Finally, if you enjoy Crossfit, then have a good time, but i cut ties and stopped any adherence to their protocols when i realized it was run like a money hungry cult. My view is that i won’t be affiliated with something like that, it’s just a personal thing, nothing against it’s “followers” they routine call themselves as such. Frankly, i was shocked when i found out how easily you can get an affiliate and get a Crossfit “certification” i have friends who went to school to be PT’s and it takes an ENORMOUS amount of commitment and work, thinking you can learn something in 2 days is lunacy.
Thanks for the article it was funny and voiced a lot of what i had been thinking the last few years. Have a good one, thanks for reading my little rant.
I really liked your post. I think crossfit is total bullshit. I think it’s totally bullshit to try to put a brand on exercise. It’s just another gimmick. If you want to get stronger… eat, lift, and rest. If you want to get faster… run more/faster. If you want to lose weight… take in less than you put out. THAT IS ALL. Hard work makes you an elite athlete, not crossfit. Crossfit makes you and elitist douche. It’s like buying a 20 dollar bottle of water. No thanks, I’ll stick to the 1 dollar bottle, shit, give me the tap. You’re an idiot if you pay upwards of 100 dollars per month for something you can be getting for 50 or less.
I just read the 1974 Caltech commencement speech by Richard Feynman. In it, he discusses “Cargo Cult Science.” Cargo Cult Science lacks
“a kind of scientific integrity,
a principle of scientific thought that corresponds to a kind of
utter honesty–a kind of leaning over backwards. For example, if
you’re doing an experiment, you should report everything that you
think might make it invalid–not only what you think is right about
it: other causes that could possibly explain your results; and
things you thought of that you’ve eliminated by some other
experiment, and how they worked–to make sure the other fellow can
tell they have been eliminated.”
I think this describes CultFit well. But as a corporation, their duty is not scientific integrity, it’s making money. And they are doing fantastic at that, so I hear. Just don’t get the two confused, Moonies.
Just read the speech–its great.
http://www.lhup.edu/~DSIMANEK/cargocul.htm
Ethos…you are on the money. Having been involved with CrossFit (Affiliate) for over 3 years now I can honestly say it is a cult. For those that don’t think so, you are only fooling yourselves.
Other sports are not cults. As a former competitive strength athlete and wrestler, we never displayed the cult like attitude of crossfitters. Maybe because we were real athletes….participating real sports. CrossFit, the sport, is nothing more than entertainment like thee former WWF. Crossfit makes up events and title(s) in a half-assed attempt to identify itself as an established sport that has rules and regs that they follow.
CrossFit has valid applications, but the current crop of people coming in think that they are special because they flop on the floor after wod making fools of themselves. When was the last time anyone saw a world class sprinter flop on the ground after running the 400….not likely….why…because they are not attention seeking, wanna be clowns. BTW, a clown is an appropriate mascot for the Cultfit nation.
Gee, why are you so defensive? The Blog isn’t attacking people trying to better themselves….it is attacking the machine of Crossfit. Don’t be an ass! Did the article strike something too close to home. It made me look back at how F’ing stupid I was following this BS.
One more thing about the CrossFit certifications (seminars), which I know something about becasue I have been to just a few….just because you have a certification does not make you educated.
Go to some affiliates and found what background they have in relationship to strength and conditioning. Again, most a are F’ing clowns that think CrossFit invented the Snatch, C&J, Deadlift, Squat, Thruster, etc….sorry Coach, we were doing them with DB’s back in ’86 during wrestling practice when we were the odd man out during Round Robins. You didn’t invent shit. The people coming into the iron sport may not have been exposed to a lot of this, therefore, they do not know any better.
multi-level marketing can really give you lots of profits if done right;~,
What a horrible article! As for the author, your claims are idiotic and you should never be allowed to write another article again. Go fucking kill yourself.
Have you actually tried following the Crossfit method? To criticize without truly understanding is true blind ignorance…and the cult of ignorance DWARFS the cult associated with Crosfit
*”" that seems to be a great topic, i really love it :~-
Very interesting article.
I have had quite alot of experience with crossfit, and I would agree with some of your statements. There is a cult feel to some of the affiliates and the fanatical manner in which some of its practitioners speak. I may even be guilty of it from time to time given the right cirumstances.
I absolutely agree with the 1000 dollar, 2 day course being excessively expensive and brief, fortnuately the military picked that one up for me. The idea that someone is qualified to correctly teach a snatch after that amount of exposure is far fetched and I doubt I would pay them 120+ a month for them to train me. Crossfit does provide a very good culture for continuing education through the affiliates, and through the crossfit journal but again this comes down to the individual. The course used to be a week long, this has recently changed.
You are right, some of these movements can be dangerous, crossfit does explain progression and scaling, but you have to read a very lenghty FAQ to find it. The main page is just the workout and a person new to this would not necessarily be directed to this area on their own.
I also agree with your comment in regards to injuries in relation to intensity. It is a very different story when you are the one who is injured. As a soldier who has done nothing else in his adult life a terrible injury could leave me in a bad place.
I will say that crossfit is very good at pointing out disfuntion when used properly. I will also say I have seen some incredible recoveries from injuries using the methods they have described. It again comes down to the individual and how it is used.
Crossfit also prescribes “gradual ramp ups” in their program (also in the FAQ) the average guy I know is going to go at it pretty hard with the work out of the day his first time. This is where, in my experience, catastrophic failures occur.
Crossfit affiliates are another story all together, I have been to alot of them. Some of them have great coaches who are extremely knowledgable and others I hope go out of business. The best one I went to charged quite a bit, but explained to me “you dont have to pay for the full month, most of these can be done in your garage, you can just come in for some competition or if you want some help.” He seemed very reasonable to me, but you are right some are just about getting cash.
Some affiliates do the WOD, others do their own programming. I think OPT is the best example of someone who has their own programing and is a little different from most others.
Rhabdo is another area I will partially agree, Crossfit has actually only had a few circumstances of rhabdo and takes precaution by instructing on how to avoid rhabdo and how to identify the symptoms. This may be for legal reasons. Others in the crossfit “cult” and these are the cult peope, think of it like a badge of honor. Any literature crossfit.com has produced that I have read seemed more as a warning.
In regards to specialization, crossfit does state they do not specialize and I would agree you are simply getting better at crossfit by doing crossfit. However they do say “Crossfit provides a ready state for which more specific training can be developed.” and encourages people to play or compete in as many different sports as possible. Which was actually stated by Mark Twight who operates Gym Jones (which used to be a crossfit affiliate) also anti crossfit from my observations but his gym is very similar.
I dont believe crossfit has ever claimed to invent the push up or any movement. In fact their definition of functional movement “not invented by any man but performed by every man.” They do like to play up they invented this style of workout but I remeber doing some of these when I was boxing and it was just called do 100 pull ups, 100 sit ups, 100 push ups and 100 squats. I think more what they have invented is a philosophy based on increasing general fitness, there is still alot of ideas floating around in regards to programming, training cycles and nutrition that continue to evolve.
I need some clarification on your statement “just watch the physical destruction after 7 miles!” does this mean their performance was poor? I am going to call you out a bit on this one, crossfit games is open to any competetor and I would challenge you to enter and win, I dont think I could.
I can speak from personal experience on a few things. Do I do crossfit, yes, kind of. I have followed the main page, gym jones, Tactical Athlete, OPT, that being said I alter workouts and I train specifically for sports. Is it the magic ninja way to complete physical domination, not likely. Is it better then everything else, more then likely. In fact I attribute this style of training to my entrance into the more elite side of the miltary. Did crossfit invent it, kind of, the stuff they do has been around forever, they took it and validated it with some science and gave it a name.
Is it a cult, this is hard to say definitively, I have met the cultfit people, and they are annoying. They will hit you with alot of catch phrases and act very “hardcore” even if they are not very good at it. If you want to work out in a different way then me or the next guy that is fine. I enjoy working out this way, and I think crossfit publishes some excellent material and does some good research. It has exposed me to some things I have never seen before and I have maintained a good level of motivation throughout.
this article is so overblown it’s absurd, some people take the crossfit too seriously and they are very very annoying even to us crossfitters, but for the vast majority of us it’s a simple quick program that gives very good results. i went from a 33 year heavy drinker, 30 lbs overweight and in terrible shape, to a 46 inch chest, 32 inch waist, i won’t bore people with what i deadlift and squat but it’s respectable. i too think glassman is a blowhard and at this point just in it for the money, he’s fat and clearly drinks and doesn’t even bother working out anymore so i really don’t take anything he says too literally.
the only way to decide is to give it a legit shot and see how your body and mind feel compared to the routine you’re in now.
ROFL! great article. you do need to do some more research, but you did get most of it right. I offer no qualifications. I’m just some random dude off the street throwing my opinion onto the board.
Awesome blog! Do you have any hints for aspiring writers? I’m hoping to start my own site soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you advise starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many options out there that I’m totally overwhelmed .. Any suggestions? Kudos!
“CultFit†| SLAVE NATION
First time I heard about Crossfit was 5 years ago. I was talking to some friends when someone over heard me mentioning a race I had on Saturday (10K). He came over and started preaching Crossfit, gave me some website to check out and excused himself. A few days later I went to the website.
What I saw was some nonsense videos of people working out. I spent maybe 10 mins on the site clicking around trying to figure out what ‘Crossfit’ was. Was it a competition, a set of videos, some tshirts. I got bored and left.
Over the years I’ve had people talk about Crossfit to me and just recently really figured out what it was…
“A bunch of rich white people paying $250/mo. to have an uncredentialed coach instruct them to have spasms with PVC pipe and siezures on pull-up bars until they vomit. They generally do this for a period of 10-30 minutes and call it a workout. Those who partake in these group activities also have the option to pay $1000 to attend a weekend course where they have an alcoholic instruct them how to better lift their PVC pipe. Some people who do these activities may also confuse being nauseous with being elite.
Guy 1: Hey, I started this great workout program lately. It’s called CrossFit!
Guy 2: You go have fun with that. And don’t bother calling me when you need someone to take you to the emergency room.
Guy 3: Dude, when did you get all those tribal tats? You didn’t start—
Guy 4: Hey man, I just started doing this awesome workout program called CrossFit!
Guy 3: Oh, fuck.
Guy 5: The CrossFit workout was brutal today! I’m already sore as hell!
Guy 6: Maybe you should have scaled down to 1/2″ PVC rather than 3/4″.”
Greg Glassman is a class A tool. After cheating on his wife who he has 4 new kids with he found some slore out a a gym in San Diego who oddly enough now works at HQ and rolls around in fancy cars not doing shit. Little does she know he is constantly trying to fuck anything with two legs everywhere he goes. Stupid bitch. Haha. Glassman is a sick old fuck.
Eh I dont have much to say. if you don’t like CrossFit.. don’t do it. Don’t be that missionary who is trying to have people revert back to their body building days.
Face it.. body builders are not fit. They are just aesthetic. There is no globogym program that has ever been utilized by the masses to sincerely provide them with a level of fitness (flexibility, strength, endurance, cardio, etc).
Congrats on your 350 bench press and 400 pound squat – but I just saw the obese gym-goer put up the same weight.
I come from a military background, I served 4 years with the 3rd Ranger Battalion from 2003 to 2007. It is a special operations unit with a very physically strict lifestyle and training regime. My time there we did the typical cardio training and body weight exercises (push ups, sit ups, etc etc) – in massive amounts if I might add. I was in good shape (I thought). I got out in 2007 and hit the globo gym as all the masses did. I can put up weight, I was in great aesthetic appearance. But the shit gets old, boring, and injuries and strains on my body did happen. I tried MMA for about 6 months.. and that was fucking tough! But the place I went to closed down and I went back to full time body building. January 2011 I was sick and tired of it. Tried crossfit, got hooked – easily the hardest regime I’ve done and has produced the most results. After 3 months of crossfit I tried benching for the first time since December/January timeframe and put up 300lbs – which I N EVER have done before. And the kicker – Not once did I bench in crossfit. I’m 6-7 months into it, and I will never stop. I improve every single day.
And now I learned that Crossfit is the default training regime of choice for almost all other Special operations units from Delta, Rangers, SF, and to the SEALs. It is really the only regime out there that will provide you with overall fitness. But if you wanna look big go do your body building regime.
Take care princess’
I partially agree with most of this. It is totally a cult. CF is nothing new and they just gave it a name and started charging big bucks to use the name. Glassman is a genius really. He is selling shit that he didn’t create. For $1000 I got my piece of paper and a t-shirt. I didn’t learn anything in those 2 days I wasted that I didn’t already know but now that I paid my $1,000 I can go out and open a crossfit gym and start charging people ridiculous money to come into my garage or my dirty ass industrial building and teach them how to squat and do pull ups. I saw so many fat overweight out of shape retards getting their cert and thought to myself, how the fuck are these people gunna train anyone.. They clearly can’t take care of themselves.. But then again, look at the founder Greg Glassman, he can barely walk and is clearly 60-70 lbs overweight and everytime I have seen him he is hammered drunk or well on his way to being completely plastered. Hey coach, is all that booze paleo? He will undoubtedly need a liver transplant which I am sure he can afford with all the dough he is ranking in… In fact no one saw him at the games because he was up in his sweet laughing and getting wasted periodically coming out to stare at anything with tits.. You would see people wanting their picture with him and watch him pervertedly stare, rub, and grab on any lady who wanted the photo op.
The games is their biggest claim to fame… “Crossfit makes the fittest athletes in the world” … If you check out any competitors training regimen it is nothing close to any programing on the main site… These guys are doing far more than anything ever thought of by Crossfit… Then they use their training, strength and metobolic to be better at crossfit and try to win these competitions. Then crossfit says “hey look at these people, do crossfit and you can be like them” … There is a fair amount of BS there. The work these competitors do is no doubt amazing but to say they are the fittest in the world is just ignorant. They are the best cross-fitters in the world and nothing more than that. 75% of these “atheletes” couldn’t throw a damn softball.
Crossfit can be great may not be the best and everything that they claim but it is far better than 30 minutes on the treadmill and doing some dumb bell curls. Depending on which affiliate you land in you can get a lot out of the fitness program that is Crossfit.. If you land on an affiliate that has one of those overweight out of shape owners that should be a clear sign for you to just move on. Who wants to be trained by someone that can even train themselves.
I did CrossFit before CrossFit was cool, but we called it wrestling practice… and it was much harder and longer than a WOD. (I know… “How can you say that????”) Go through a few wrestling seasons and you will understand. FYI, wrestlers don’t worry about rhabdo.
I have trained jui-jitusu for 12 years, competed in wrestling for 10 years, boxed and kickboxed (in the ring, not in a cardio class), ran track, and now, as I get older, I choose to powerlift because it makes my body feel better. I am lucky in that I am a natural athlete. I did Fran without doing any cardio for a year besides walking on a treadmill. I was challenged by a CrossFitter at my gym after I had a max effort deadlift session and did it in 4:17. (I know some people think I am lying, but years of wrestling (mental toughness) plus being blessed with athleticism made it possible.) No, it wasn’t easy and I puked. A max effort deadlift session before Fran is not recommended… I take that back. Maybe it is in CrossFit, I don’t know.
Now for my point:
The article was entertaining. I really don’t have a problem with Crossfitters as long as they leave me alone, don’t take over the rack for 20 minutes, and don’t challenge me about my goals… hmmm, that leaves very few Crossfitters that I do like. For some reason, CrossFitters believe their fitness goals are better than others. If a CrossFitter asks me how much I deadlift and I tell them (over 500), they switch it up and ask how many kipping pull ups I can do in a certain amount of time. At that point I will not give them a direct answer because they are comparing themselves with me instead of just trying to better themselves. I am in it to better myself. I could take first or tenth in a powerlifting competition and if I PR, I am thrilled. If CrossFitters would stop comparing their methodologies, times, and performances with others, they would be tolerable.
Thanks for reading my rant.
This rant is right on- thank you!!
Fantastic posting. I am a former professional/elite athlete in multiple sports and I was bamboozled into this cult for a long time until I woke the fuck up and realized that I was wasting my time and money. Pulling workouts out of a hat on a daily basis is just plain retarded. I knew more about training than the coaches. The WODs are just ridiculous. Fuck form and just go for time. WTF?!? Give your head a shake. Real athletes do real training from real coaches who received real educations. Not some ITT Tech/DeVry two-day silly course.
BTW, Crossfitters would get destroyed in real sports. Crossfit makes you good at Crossfit. Don’t believe the hype.