Your Music Sucks! (and so do you)

What the hell is going on with music these days? I don’t know if it’s because this is a generation of whiny little emo bitches or if the fact that live studio recordings are completely extinct but music today fucking sucks. Songs are just a collection of a thousand sound-bites, probably unable to be played as they are recorded by the very bands that release the songs.  Audio tracks are compressed, equalized, and squeezed into a limited range... Read More

Exodus 9:23

When Moses stretched out his staff toward the sky, the LORD sent thunder and hail, and lightning flashed down to the ground. So the LORD rained hail on the land of Egypt; -Exodus 9:23 It’s 1 o’clock in the morning. I’ve been drinking vodka and Jagermeister. It’s the end of a long week. The last thing I want to hear is the frantic gospel madness of the Black Beast. Yeah, the same Black Beast who started trying to exorcize my girlfriend... Read More

Sprague or a Donkey (.com)

The crew had assembled, beers were being drained at a record pace, many subjects were debated until somehow the focal sum of all our wonderings was directed at one question.  One question to rule them all. Would you rather have sex with Sprague or a donkey? Seemingly an innocent enough query, but much truth lay in the divination of ones answer.  Perhaps the very core of a person’s being is the wellspring from which the answer to this pondering... Read More