Shock and Awe
After discovering the perfect way to assault the evil SHIRLEY with water the other day I have taken pleasure in what I am now calling “BOMBING” her many times since.
She has tried to come up and complain but I simply tell her that whatever the hell is going on in HER apartment is HER issue and stay the fuck away from me. I ain’t doing shit. I would feel bad about flooding the bitch to kingdom come but she had the fucking nerve to tell me that she is happy when I’m in Iraq and has forced me to take legal action in the past. Basically she is an evil old lady hiding in the shell of an innocent loving grandmother. She needs to just die and make everyone happy.
So I bombed Shirley three seperate times today. The tile dudes were back for a couple finishing touches and I was forced to commence the attack after she complained about them putting stuff in the dumpster too loud. What a fucking BITCH! I mean who the FUCK does she think she is?!? Its like living above the fucking condo hall monitor.
So I told the guys the story about Coi and I and they wanted to see it for themselves so we together blasted Shirley into a watery grave. We hit her up once first thing after she fucked with the guys at the dumpster, again after she gave them shit for talking loud while they were chilling out at their truck around lunch time (she even had the balls to say “make sure you throw away all your food trash from the parking lot”) and I smash-fucked her one last and glorious time right before I went to the gym because she had the condo president give the guys shit for her “plumbing issues” which they reassured everyone that they had nothing to do with – they are tile guys, not plumbers.
HAHHA!! So the first 2 times I just filled the sinks up all the way and let loose, the third time I filled the sinks AND a giant plastic trashcan. It was seriously a LOT of water. hahahaha!!! On my way to the gym I saw Shirley walking around in squares with her phone in her hand short circuiting with a freaked out look on her face. When I get back a few hours later the hag is still doing the same thing. Totally broken robot!!!! ahahaa.
My tile guy (who has been a badass bro for the last couple weeks) told me I needed to fill the sink with piss and ground rotten squid because “nothing smells like piss and squid!” hahaha pure comedy. We basically spent much of today figuring out ways to fuck with her now that i have a sure-fire way to dump shit into her apartment in the most evil ways possible. HAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAA!
Its like my own little psychological conditioning experiment. Every time she fucks up I’m gonna bomb her from now on, then maybe she will slowly be conditioned to not be a bitch any more. HAHA! YES!!!
If she really fucks up I’m gonna wait until midnight and put my speakers right on the floor aimed down, play evil sounding satanic chanting shit and then dump red food coloring down the sink so the its like satan blood pouring out of her drains. haahahah!!! fucking awesome!
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LMAO dude I cant take this I have been laughing non stop at these stories for the last 30 mins! Dude you do that with the satanic music and food coloring promise to call me so I can come over and witness this shit!
Wow. A sociopath and sadist. Nice. Takes pleasure in tormenting an elderly female because she said the wrong thing to him and had the nerve to get something in writing. Your parents must be so proud.
jealous?