Air Raid Bitchez!

I went to the Red Bull Air Races on the San Diego Bay all day Saturday and it was TOTALLY BADASS! These little planes can do shit that I’ve never seen before. It was the coolest thing ever. My bro took his boat out and we basically pigged out on fried chicken and beer while planes did gnarly spins and turns and shit right overhead all day long. There was a Navy airshow as well and we got buzzed by a bunch of badass jets and shit. On top of all that There was this Red Bull helo that could do corkscrews and loops and the most amazing moves I’ve ever seen. it was COMPLETELY AMAZINGY AWESOME!!!

Next, our dodgeball team is heading into the playoffs after another crushing victory last week. We only have one loss this season and we are going to take the whole show next Thursday. The best part of the game (besides completely crushing our opponents) was when Christy made an AMAZING catch late in the game. It was her first catch all season and the dude who threw it was completely destroyed when she clutched that shit. She was awarded the game ball for this killer feat.

Finally, in the process of getting my kitchen all fixed up I have discovered a hilarious way to fuck with the evil old hag that lives in the unit below me. Here’s the deal; My condo building has a draining system that works with these like stand pipes. These are pipes that run vertically the length of the building and each unit’s kitchen drains into it. Now if there is a block or clog then the pipe will back up into whichever unit is directly above that clog. The funny thing is that if you live on the bottom floor then there is a turn in the stand pipe where it changes from vertical to horizontal and leads to the main street drain. What this means is that the curve in the pipe can act as a clog if you pour enough water down the pipe at once. Well Shirley (the evil hag who lives below me) was giving all my work dudes shit all day (every day). She is an old bitter abandoned hag who has no friends so she just fucks with everyone else and tries to suck you in to hear annoying stories and shit about god knows what. Needless to say she is always trying to crawl up my ass over one thing or another. I told all the construction guys the deal so they were prepared but she even surprised them by how much of a fucking bitch she was. So after a long day of kitchen reconstructo me and Coi – the dude who installed my sink and shit – filled both basins of my new mega-sink all the way up to the top and Coi even had the idea to fill up a 5 gallon bucket with water and then we drained it all at once in a gigantic mega-disaster flood of water down the pipe.

Well Shirley got completely bombed out of her kitchen. She came running up to my apartment screaming and Coi and I were laughing our fucking asses off. Coi straight up told her that he was not her plumber so leave him alone. hahaha. It was total comedy.

Shirley then kind of had a short circuit and she was running around like a broken robot screaming for the head of the homeowners association and the lady was not even in her apartment. God DAMN it was funny!

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