Uh Oh, Spaghetti-O

I shit my pants today.

Hasn’t happened in god knows how long. I’ve even survived a trip to Israel and Iraq without an incident – but today for some reason it caught up with a vengeance.

It was a normal Saturday. Normal in every regard – quite nice actually. I slept in until 11:30, crawled out of bet and scarfed down a mega-hoagie I had waiting in the fridge. Had a cup of coffee and a nice walk, the weather was beautiful. I spent most of the day painting primer on the faces to my kitchen cabinets, got a lot of work done, and rewarded myself with a trip to Crazy Burger (who advertizes ‘best burgers in town’ on the front of their restaurant at 30th and University). I had half a buffalo burger and half a salmon burger. Super yummy. Washed it down with a basket of crazy-fries and a diet coke.

I get home, open up a few windows, relax on the couch. I was taking a break from debugging the backwards compatability on Windows Vista. I had my acoustic guitar out and was playing Suedehead when I felt something brewing up in my gut. I had eaten a bunch of fried chicken from Albersons the night before but didn’t really think anything was amiss until I had a warm volcanic eruption in my cammi shorts.

Now it wasn’t like a Mt. St. Helens (super explosion) or a Mt Vesuvius (lots of gas and smoke)… this was more like one of those elementary school science project volcanoes made out of paper mache. The ones you filled up with baking soda and vinegar with some red food coloring. Yeah, thats the kind of volcano that erupted in my shorts.

I just sat there for a moment dumbfounded. Somewhere between Morrissey and a hellish brown stench. I got up, cleaned up with a quick shower to ease my soiled soul, threw my dirty junk in the wash and sat back down on the couch feeling very very low.

So it doesn’t happen every day, the reasons appear to be clear even though not proven in any one direction. Needless to say I was shocked and not shocked all at once and I thought that it would be worth the time to share with planet earth.

So I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

Fin

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