Haiku Hell

Today I have some beautiful haiku’s for everyone, yay! This pain defines me I have pissed away my soul There is nothing left ———- There’s no going back Your mouth was a volcano And I erupted AKPC_IDS += "2164,";Popularity: 1% [?] Read More

Shock and Awe

After discovering the perfect way to assault the evil SHIRLEY with water the other day I have taken pleasure in what I am now calling “BOMBING” her many times since. She has tried to come up and complain but I simply tell her that whatever the hell is going on in HER apartment is HER issue and stay the fuck away from me. I ain’t doing shit. I would feel bad about flooding the bitch to kingdom come but she had the fucking nerve to... Read More

Air Raid Bitchez!

I went to the Red Bull Air Races on the San Diego Bay all day Saturday and it was TOTALLY BADASS! These little planes can do shit that I’ve never seen before. It was the coolest thing ever. My bro took his boat out and we basically pigged out on fried chicken and beer while planes did gnarly spins and turns and shit right overhead all day long. There was a Navy airshow as well and we got buzzed by a bunch of badass jets and shit. On top of all... Read More

Never Blog Drunk

I want to savage Chrissie Hynde. I don’t care if her tits suck. I don’t care if her face looks like the surface of the moon. I want to touch her skinny hips. I want my hands on her meaningful black t-shirt (sans sleeves). I want to get fucked up beyon d belief with Bowie and shoot mud with Lou Reed. I want to shoot a lot of shit with Lou. A lotta lotta lotta shit. I want the basketball diaries to look like ;dear abbey; when I pour my drug... Read More

Uh Oh, Spaghetti-O

I shit my pants today. Hasn’t happened in god knows how long. I’ve even survived a trip to Israel and Iraq without an incident – but today for some reason it caught up with a vengeance. It was a normal Saturday. Normal in every regard – quite nice actually. I slept in until 11:30, crawled out of bet and scarfed down a mega-hoagie I had waiting in the fridge. Had a cup of coffee and a nice walk, the weather was beautiful. I... Read More

I Hate Whole Foods

I want to eat healthy, I want to do what is right for the environment, and I want to shop at a supermarket that supports these intentions, but I HATE WHOLE FOODS. The place is, at its most elementary level, a good idea.  Unfortunately in execution it is a judgmental left wing hippie hell hole.  I don’t like being judged for not filling my cart with all organic foods.  I don’t like being judged because my fucking clothes aren’t made out of... Read More

Static, Static, Static… We’re on a Video Rage

I played PS3 with my buddy Bobby until 6am this morning. We drank a million gallons of Jack Daniels and destroyed a million terrorists on Rainbow 6 : Las Vegas. We also ate a million pieces of Papa Johns Italian Meats pizza. It was delicious. I slept on a couch for 3 hours. Now I am totally hung over, tired, I have some kind of bowel problem from all that cheese and whiskey, and i gotta drive up to Fullerton to have a BBQ with my mom. I ate a multi-vitamin... Read More

Guitar Tab Universe

Thanks to my buddy Noah for bringing this one to my attention – total BULLSHIT! Title: read this!‏ From: Noah Sent: Sat 9/08/07 3:03 PM What a fuckin shitter. No wonder I have’nt be able to find any good guitar tab sites. They’re all links that take you to other links that don’t have anything to do w/ guitar. It’s the big greedy machine trying to control every goddamn good thing in the world they can get their grimey... Read More

G.G. Allin

Born Jesus Christ Allin, G.G. Allin was to some the ultimate symbol of rock & roll rebellion, taking it to extremes that no one else was dangerous enough to explore. To others he was a lunatic whose attempts to shock and disgust were too ham-fisted to be taken seriously. Wherever the truth lay, there can be no doubt that Allin was the most spectacular degenerate in rock & roll history. Just to give GG the best possible representation I’m... Read More

Political Correctness GO FUCK YOURSELF!

RAGE. OUTRAGE. and more RAGE. Ok, I am TOTALLY sick of it. POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GO FUCK YOURSELF! The whole concept needs to FUCK OFF! So for all the idiots lucky enough to have never heard of this shit (or maybe not have it all spelled out for you), heres the deal. Political correctness (PC or politically correct) is a term used to describe language, ideas, policies, or behavior seen as seeking to minimize offense to racial, cultural, or other... Read More