Our dodgeball team totally crushed the opposition again tonight.  It was a fucking total slaughter!  We played the green team tonight, I think they were called Kermit’s Rash or something like that.  Regardless, we totally crushed them.  I got out like a total dumbass in the first game because I thought the ref blew the whistle, total bullshit, but no biggie – we still crushed them.  In game two it must have been the fastest dodgeball game of all time, literally.  Every throw we made was a kill, and every throw they made was a catch.  The game lasted about 1 minute, no shit.

The highlight of the evening was how totally pissed off we got the other team.  They were freaking out.  We are now the masters of rattling other teams’ birtcages.  I swear we get these people so pissed off its fucking AWESOME!!!  The other team’s captain was this anorexic bitch who ran around like a monkey on speed.  She had decent skills – catching, throwing, dodging.  Her weakness was her mind.  She was so mad that we were destroying their team and laughing like a pack of jackals that she was ready to step to people, it was totally hilarious.  The pinnacle of this came when I crushed her soul at point blank range right after she threw the ball.  I smashed her FULL POWER right in the breadbasket.  She fucking flipped out and came running across the line waving her anorexic arms like a starved drunken ape.  I was just looking at this skinny bitch go berzerk thinking “what the fuck do you think you are gonna do!?”   It would have been cool to crush her once more but I refrained in my next throw.  Instead I snatched the life of this little asian girl.  She was the last player in the game and the last thing she heard from the sidelines was “WATCH OUT FOR THAT BIG GUY!?!?!” right before I flattened her.  It was total comedy, she was already falling over because she was so afraid, and I smashed her right on her ass full power.  Well it sounded like somebody dumped a bucket of potatoes on the gym when she fell flat on her face.  HAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!

this picture is when I smashed the skinny bitch full power in the baby-maker, thereby rendering her barren and totally incapable of having children.  The dodgeball was thrown with such force that her spine was smashed out of her body and she shit blood and shit like a fountain.

Bobby had the most intense performance to date.  In one game he literally ran around like a sprite and got every one of their players out.  It was over in a heartbeat and the other team couldn’t get off the floor quick enough.

Next week we have our most challenging game of the season, I feel confident that we will crush their souls.

On a lighter note my kitchen is still blown to little bits.  I have no idea when the workers are coming back, its total bullshit.  THe whole house is filling up with dirty dishes and crap.  I ate a whole pot full of tuna helper today straight to my fucking head, it was awesome, but now there is a dirty tuna pot sitting in my living room with nowhere to go.  So sad…