Cyber Crime

Some badass shit is coming down.  First and foremost… I got my new super-computer.  Just to get everyone up to speed, here are the stats of my new special lady: DYSTOPIATRON statistics: HP Pavilion dv9500t customizable Notebook PC Upgrade to Genuine Windows Vista Ultimate (64-bit) Intel(R) Core(TM) 2 Duo processor T7500 (2.20 GHz, 4 MB L2 Cache, 800MHz FSB) 17.0″ WSXGA+ High-Definition HP BrightView Widescreen Display... Read More

Congratulations, You’ve Made the List

Ok, well just for starters… FUCK YOU MEXICO! Christy and I were headed for some In-n-out after the dodgeball game the the other day and this car comes skidding around like crazy until it totally lost control and smashed full power into the median barrier.  I call 9-11 and we pulled over to make sure nobody was bleeding out when the car starts back up, then speeds full power into oncoming traffic on the 8.  It then pulls a slow u-turn in the... Read More

Chewbacca’s Girlfriend Plays Dodgeball

A glimmer of hope.  We crushed souls in our dodgeball game last night.  It was fun as shit.  We got the other team totally pissed off as usual.  In fact they were utterly gripped by fear and intimidation.  They tried taunting the players on our team but that is completely useless, we simply laugh at them.  The thing that was really pissing them off is when we would unleash our “demon roar” every time we threw the ball.  Then we... Read More

Shit The Bed

I got nothing but bad news these days.  First of all, and maybe to explain why the site hasn’t been updated for weeks, my computer exploded.  I am very sad about this.  That tough little laptop had been with me on every single overseas deployment I’ve gone on.  Its seen more combat than a whole division of marines.  Now its just a giant paperweight and I am starting to feel like death is surrounding me these days. On top of that... Read More

Viva Los Diablos Locos

Our dodgeball team totally crushed the opposition again tonight.  It was a fucking total slaughter!  We played the green team tonight, I think they were called Kermit’s Rash or something like that.  Regardless, we totally crushed them.  I got out like a total dumbass in the first game because I thought the ref blew the whistle, total bullshit, but no biggie – we still crushed them.  In game two it must have been the fastest dodgeball... Read More

Hoo-Yah Hollywood

8 navy seals totally bored on a Hollywood movie set = total hilarity. My alarm cranked off at 2:30am. Time to get up, I was on my way up to L.A. for another weekend of total mayhem on the set of the Will Smith action-comedy-drama “John Hancock”. I picked up Bobby and we somehow make amazing time. It only took us an hour and a half to finish the commute which left us with a large chunk of unused time. We decided to just let the AC run and sleep... Read More

Dodgeball Bitch Boy

You know I completely forgot to give the rundown of the first game of the new dodgeball season!?! I must be going retarded. WE WON!  Which was pretty fun, as usual, but even more satisfying than victory was getting the other team’s captain so pissed off that he literally had a complete meltdown on the court.  It was fucking great.  One of our new players, a girl named Charlie, told us that the other captain (also named charlie) loses all... Read More

Fuck You Fatty!

The truth about fat people: USA Obesity Rates Reach Epidemic Proportions: - 58 Million Overweight; 40 Million Obese; 3 Million morbidly Obese - Eight out of 10 over 25′s Overweight - 78% of American’s not meeting basic activity level recommendations - 25% completely Sedentary - 76% increase in Type II diabetes in adults 30-40 yrs old since 1990 - Being disgustingly obese is not a right or priveledge and all fat people should be slaughtered. ... Read More