Thai New Year

Everything that went inside and came out of my stomach list (thai new year):

Friday
- 2 double double’s from In n Out
- 3 stiff vodka lemonade drinks at Brad’s [preparty]
(the third drink was mostly spilled all over when I punched the glass full power while playing Nintendo Wii)
- 2 pitchers of beer at the Red Lion
- 2 baskets of fries soaked in malt vinager
- 1 shot of malt vinager
- 3 Corona beers at the Grasshopper
- “Meat Bowl” soup from some nameless Thai place in Hollywood. The identifiable bits included cow stomach and one testicle.
(I was so drunk that I spilled the soup all over the table that bums had been using to wash their dirty socks and underpants and then slurped it off with chopsticks. L-bug punked a dish and I stole the chopsticks – you know, as gifts)

Saturday
- 1 glass of club soda
- I threw up, it looked like mostly the “meat bowl” – Since it looked like throw up going in this was not an extreme hardship.
- 1 slice of tomato spinach quiche
- 1 cup of coffee
- 1/3 of a gigantic chocolate chip cookie
- 2 excedrin pills
- 2 slices of pizza from “New York Pizza” in Westwood. Vince Vaughn was there slurping down pizza too, from the look of his physique it probably didn’t matter that much what was in front of him.
- 1 icecream cookie (peanut butter cup icecream and chocolate chip cookies)
- 1 vodka and lemonade [preparty]
- 2 vodka redbulls (very strong) at the Cha Cha Lounge
- 1 large mouthfull of talc powder.
(we were at this funk and soul hipster party in Silverlake filled with the craziest gang of miscreants you ever laid eyes on. This couple of the 70′s culture junkies (guy and a girl) started squirting bottles of talc all over the dance floor and everyone there left with white lungs and a fresh collection of white boogers. We all had the appearance of coke heads.)
“List within a list” list of strange 70′s hipster peeps at the party 880:
- “HOUSE CAT” – small chubby asian guy wearing thick black rimmed glasses who was rubbing his forearms on his dance partner like the cute nuzzlings of a declawed cat.
- “THE LOOK” – snake-like, greasy, long haired dude wearing a jean jacket. He was holding a can of Miller High Life and standing like a buoy in the middle of the dance floor with a sleazy angry look on his face like that of someone watching kiddie porn.
- “DIRTY PANTS” – the biggest slut at the party. Going from dude to dude on the dance floor trying to find her latenight playmate. She had dirt stains all over the backs of her pants, don’t ask me why, and she had the most obvious and disgusting dance moves that would make even the most seasoned anthropologist blush with astonishment. She finally ended up with “THE LOOK” and disappeared into another room to frolic.
- “KATHY’s NEW BOYFRIEND” – your classic Mark-1 Mod-0 hollywood rocker dude. Skinny, dirty, with his pale withered arms emerging from beneath a pin and patch covered leather vest. Under the vest cowered what looked like a pile of chicken bones covered by a wet tortilla. He wore a flat leather pilot’s cap and tight leather pants that stretched down to his heavy buckle biker boots (one of which was partially conceiled by a red bandanna)
- there were a number of other strangers there including a dude who went face first down the stairs until his head smashed the wall on the first floor. some people were popping balloons and doing all kinds of strange shit. the party was so full in this giant house that there was a crowd of about 30 people sitting on the roof casting dispersions on everyone who walked below.

Sunday
- 1 glass of club soda
- 2 asprin pills
- 1 deli sandwich from a unidentifiable Armenian deli
- 1 cheese pastry that the old woman making my sandwich essentially ordered for me
- 1 bottle of wheat and root soda from Russia – it was pretty gross and made my guts start to hurt
- 1 can of sugarfree energy drink
- 1 bottle of soda water
- 1 bottle of “yogurt and mint” flavored soda – it tasted so bad that I almost barfed all over the crowd at the muay-thai fights
- while drinking my soda water a middle aged Thai man rode up on his bike. He engaged us in conversation, turns out he was a Thai kickboxer back in Thailand for years. Started when he was 15, fought 3-5 times a day for years. Explained how in Thailand they wear no pads and have their own name on their shorts. He had to fight for money to live.
- this man’s fighting name… “MONKEY WIND” – how fucking cool is that!?!?!?
- meat on a stick (tasty as hell but kind of like bizarro snapple ‘made from the worst stuff on earth’)
- A heaping pile of Pad Thai and Grilled Pork
- Washed it down with a pot of “hot ginger drink” while a newscrew filmed close-ups of my face. I was wearing my sister’s pink butterfly glasses.

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