Sponge Bob Split Pants

So its been a crazy end to the week. Yesterday while doing squats in the gym I completely split the ass out of my workout shorts. My fat ass overwhelming the time tested forces of cloth and thread. Lucky for me there were two female trainers right behind me to stare longingly up my freshly exposed bung.

Went to a dodgeball game Thursday night. My bro from bud/s team totally crushed the opposition. I have sworn allegiance to joining forces next season in an all out attack on all other dodgeball teams. We are thinkning about calling our team the “Titty-balls”. I caught myself being a complete fag at the bar later that night. For some reason I couldn’t stop looking at myself in the mirror behind the bar. My gayness knows no bounds.

I got some killer new tires on the my truck-a-saurus. Every trashcan in North Park is trembling in its boots with the knowledge that my drunken rampage on their ranks will soon be taken to the next level. THE NEXT LEVEL!!!!!!

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