St. Patrick’s Day Weekend List 1138

-=-got completely shitfaced at the Cha Cha Lounge.

-=-Scarfed down 3 tamales.

(NOTE: if you are in Silverlake latenight and need some grub, you must find the tamale guy and give him all your money, you will not be disappointed)

-=-K-Funk (great job by the way) videotaped a girl scratching her pussy when she thought nobody was looking with the nightvision mode on my camcorder and laughed so hard my neck meat almost broke.

(MOVIE IDEA: “Since when is it illegal to have fun?!?  PUSSY SCRATCHERS”)

-=-L-bug stepped out of my truck around 3am drunk and unknowlingly stepped right into a heaping pile of wet dogshit. She then performed the move that we are now calling the “POOPOUETTE” where you do a complete 360 degree spin with one foot in dogshit (totally oblivious though). I was laughing at her so she kicked me with the poop shoe, thereby leaving a brown scuffmark on my chuck taylor’s.. outrage!

-=-passed out on L-bug’s floor while her cats took turns puking on my tattoo arm.

-=-Spent the whole next day exploring thrift stores and laughing at old junk

-=-Got a text from Brad – he barfed

-=-Ate In-n-Out and resupplied on vodka

-=-Confronted a ghetto black dude who had followed us for 3 blocks in front of the Kentucky Fried Chicken on Hollywood Blvd.

(GHETTO INSULT: “Fuck you you pussy ass motherfucker.  I’ll fucking shoot you.  What neighborhood are you from? I’ll fucking shoot your car.”)

-=-Met up with Joel and the Hollywood movie crew for a couple beers in studio city

-=-Bottle-opener belt buckle finally realized its usefulness

-=-Cruised down to the Red Lion and ate vinegar soaked French fries and drank a lot of beer.

(MEMORABLE QUOTE: “I scratch my hemorrhoids with a loaded shotgun”

-=-Kicked out at closing time, we headed for El Gran Burrito for some Mexican goodness

-=-On the way we stopped to watch the gayest fight of all time between to trendy hipster metrosexual dudes.

(BITING REMARK: “Fuck you!  That’s the last time I make tea and cookies on your cat’s birthday!”)

-=-I yelled out “CATFIGHT” and everyone rallied to watch the spectacle.

-=-Ate mexi until our faces turned blue.

-=-Relished in the 2 nasty transsexual hookers on Mike’s street corner when he took us all over to his place so we could try out his homemade grapefruit sorbet.

(MIKE, THAT SORBET WAS RIGHT ON TIME DUDE!)

-=-finally crashed out and spent all Sunday moving boxes of old stuff out of my mom’s garage.

-=-fin

ok ok ok… here is what you were all waiting for….

“Since when is it illegal to have fun? PUSSY SCRATCHERS!”

Mount Sims – How We Do

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