Astro-Zombies

Finally home! the jetlag is crushing my soul right now but at least im in my apartment. freshly cooked pasta dinner, took all the food out of the freezer. bags unpacked. fuck.. if i could only sleep until morning everything would be great. played Soul Caliber 3 for 2 hours until i figured that i’d just be up all night.

here is the recipe for flying unconscious from israel to san diego.

2 x 5mg valium + 1/2 ambien = first 6 hours of sleep

drink a sprite

2 x 5mg valium + 1 full ambien = next 5 hours of sleep

eat 1/2 orange

3 x 5mg valium = 2 hour zone out until landing

2.5 hour layover (still mostly val’d out.. very handy when powering through customs)

collect baggage, get searched, recheck baggage

eat 2 ham, egg, and cheese croissants

drink 32 oz sprite (the syrup ran out so it mas pretty much just soda water)

as soon as boarding starts for the flight eat

1 x 5mg valium + 1 x ambien + 1 x zanex

zonk completely out until plane is on the ground.

i could barely walk to collect my baggage, i kept falling over. 2 cops followed me all the way out of the airport. at one point i picked up my bag, leaned over and fell asleep on top of it until the cops poked me.

airport pig #1 “hey, HEY! what the hell are you doing?”

drugged out z “look fucker, i just flew all the way from israel non-fucking-stop next to a hundred stinking jews and arabs and their maggot offspring running around like zoo-animals. i don’t wanna fucking hear a peep out of you!”

airport pig #2 “whoa.. ok.. sorry man, we just thought you needed help.”

and just so nobody starts to panic over my pill-popping, i chucked all my leftovers in the trash at the airport. believe me being drugged up is the only way to deal with the obnoxious sub-human masses of stinking disgusting jabbering oven-fodder when flying.

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