The Crock of Sisyphus

i didn’t get any good sleep. my head feels heavy and out of balance. i havent gone outside my apartment all day. it took me hours just to get out of bed. my body feels devastated. my life is devastated. why?

my apartment over here is fucking spotless now, been cleaning like a stepford wife for 3 hours now. all my clothes are folded, bags packed. the dishes are all clean and stacked. there is nothing else for me to do here and i’m burning up with nervous energy. i don’t know what to say or think or do.

got bad news yesterday and the repercussions are severe.

i never thought this would happen again, but it did. it hurts like shit every time. fuck. i know i just gotta keep doing the right thing and one day good things will happen. i just gotta keep driving on. man it hurts. fuck.

WHY!?

fuck.. this is the worst blog ever.

Camus says in The Myth of Sisyphus: “The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”

what a crock of shit.

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