Hey… Watch This!
Well I almost got murdered tonight attempting to pull off what I thought was a pretty good prank. I tried to steal a green Hamas flag from their headquarters in one of the provinces. Now this may sound completely insane, and well it probably is, but the time was right. It was rainy, keeping people off the streets. Its Shabbat right now so all the jews are indoors. It was night time, and well, night time is the right time.
Anyway, I had to climb up this 10 foot wall and then traverse along a chainlink fence at the top of the wall to get to where the flags were. The good news is that my chuck taylors were the perfect footwear for the job, the bad news is that I got caught with my balls in the breeze hanging from the fence. A chanting truckload of suicide bombers came around the corner just as I was at my most precarious point. Their headlights nearly set me on fire, my heart raced, and I knew I was fucked. I tried to shimmy down and hide but I lost my grip and ended up falling backwards 20 feet into the backyard of the mosque. I was in a panic for a second, checked all around me for dudes coming to wreck house but it was still quiet. I looked for a way out, but the only way out was through the fucking mosque. I tried to jump back up and grab the top of the fence but it was 20 feet high on this side and I couldn’t reach. I ended up in a mad-dash collecting every piece of stuff in the backyard and making a little debris pile on which I quickly clamoured up to the top of the wall. I jumped over just as I heard the throaty calls of enraged Hamas dudes. I jumped back in the car and my buddy floored it to freedom.
Yet another failed mission with nothing to show for it. Dammit! I was so close this time to actually pulling off a good one. Anyway, stay tuned for more madness. There are a few more targets of opportunity here in the holy land that may prove to be more rewarding than the hamas hq. Until next time…!
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