Sweet Revenge

Well I’ve been under threat of exploding bowels for days now but today that condition pushed an incident to its crisis. In all honesty this was never planned or in any way expected. I was driving back to my place when I was hit with a wave of severe displeasure. When these waves hit I have about 1-2 minutes to find a toilet before I make a giant mess of myself. Fortunately there was a gas station right there so I simply pulled off. I went running to the restroom, it was locked, so I got the key from the girl at the counter and hurried back. When I returned to the restroom there was a man standing there staring at me. He did not appear to be in dire need of the restroom (as I obviously was) and even tried to push ahead of me when I unlocked the door. This is not uncommon, its like a macho thing or somthing with these jew bastards, they have to push ahead in every fucking line, totally annoying. Well I was not about to be Shabbat’ed on this one, I pushed him aside and went in. As if his line cutting was not enough, this asshole started banging and kicking the door, rattling the handle, and yelling at me in his jew tongue. I was completely irate. What the fucking FUCK!? It was a good thing that I used the key to lock the deadbolt from the inside or he would have broken down the door, and then a lightbulb went on in my head. I finished up and even as I was passing the man he said some angry remarks. He closed the door.

Well here is where many of you are probably gonna think that I’m a total asshole and never want to talk to me again.

I took the key and locked the deadbolt – effectively trapping the man inside the nasty shithouse without means of escape. I then chucked the key as far as I could, hopped back into my ride, and drove away. Never in my wildest dreams would I have expected that I would do such a dastardly thing, but that fucker had it coming. The restroom was on the side of the gas station, not accessable through the mini mart, so he may have been banging and yelling in there for quite some time before (if ever) he was found and released. I have been rationalizing my actions by telling myself that they probably had another key to the shitter, but in all truth they most likely did not. And then the darker parts of my nature like to think that he is still trapped in that totally nasty restroom right now and it makes me smile. I really am a fucking asshole.

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