Insomnia

(10 days to go)

Its 3 oclock in the fucking morning and I can’t sleep. Again. God DAMN it. I don’t think its stress, maybe excitement about coming home… I dunno about a million thoughts are all swimming around in my head about work and relationships and money and life and I can’t turn off the sound of my own gears turning. Its crunch time here. Thats what I call it anyway. Whenever I get short over here I really focus on getting my diet straight and hitting the gym with redoubled intensity in order to get in totally great shape before I get home. I know, I can hear my friend Tracy now “vanity, thy name is …” – well I just don’t want to come back with any extra baggage. I really don’t have any excuses, its like being in prison over here so I might as well do the few things I can to an extreme. I’m really looking forward to being back in the states, this Route 66 road trip I have planned is really starting to grow on me. One problem.. I am like a workaholic when it comes to completing shit sometimes and its going to be a test of my resolve to slow things down and appriciate the experience instead of just trying to complete the task. I looked at my itinerary today and came to the realization that even though my flight is like 459 hours long, I will be home on Halloween. The international date line is like this weird glitch in the matrix for me.

So this invitation goes out to planet earth, anyone in the DC(ish) area on Halloween who wants to get crazy hit me up. I’m good for at least one kick in the nuts before the night is through. This is my first Halloween that I wont be either deployed or in training in like .. damn .. like 6 years.

Ive been talking to some old friends out in VA Beach that I plan on visiting on my whirlwind tour of the USA. They reminded me of drunken haiku writing and a bunch of other stuff. I scribbled out these little gems the other day to give some peeps a chuckle and at 3am in Iraq I suppose it seems like an OK idea to put them up here. So, well, here you go;

Fly on 31′st

Oh sweet vodka quench my thirst

Until I’m submersed

-=-

Home on Halloween

Ketel One mixed with caffeine

You are my vaccine

-=-

Trick or fucking treat

Got shit drunk then beat my meat

I hate leprechauns

I think drunken haiku’s were first invented when my sister and I were stuck in the Paris airport for hours… dunno why I think that is where we first busted them out… I know for sure that drunken Mad-Libs was started at Patsy’s Irish Pub in Laguna Hills.

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