Stuff n’ Thangs

‘Stuff n’ Thangs’ list 4400:

iTunes: GO TO HELL! I hate this program. Why the fuck didn’t the idiots at Apple make it so I could just drag and drop my fucking songs onto my iPod. I mean, you fuckers spent all this time coming up with a great little product that does damn near everything I want it to (freeze ups and bullshit battery life aside) and then you gotta be a fucking asshole about the way I load it up. iTunes sucks ASS! Its slow, cumbersome, and it converts all the songs on my iPod into your fucked up little format so I can’t put them on my buddies’ computer. I can’t even plug my iPod into another computer w/o the fucking serial number, what the hell were you thinking? You assholes are profiting from hardware that is solely supported by the illegal download and use of pirated music. Honestly, who are you trying to fool? Quit trying to play hall monitor with my mp3′s.

SoulSeek: YOU ROCK! You are the best p2p program ever. I remember back in the music renaissance of Napster when for the first time ever you could find any fucking song you could think of. Human minds were expanding because of the wealth of free music available for the first time ever. Well SoulSeek not only has the best music since the corporate machine shut that shit down, but it has zero spyware, zero adware, zero cost, and zero bullshit. You can chat, send files to your friends, whatever. The best option is that you can download whole albums in their own directory. The lost art of listening to an album from start to finish, where the album was a cohesive musical progression has mostly been killed in modern times by the overabundance of prefab industry bubblegum pop one hit wonders as well as the loss of diversity by groups that have 5 albums full of different variations on the same fucking song. Bands more concerned with image than substance that probably have never re-strung their own guitars or are old enough to vote or drink a beer before their first album comes out. Well you can get back to your roots and not flood your harddrive in bullshit with this little gem of a program – and if you do decide to d/l this thing and log on, feel free to leech all my files (username is ‘slavenation’).

SoulSeek homepage http://www.slsknet.org/

Islam: GO TO HELL! I could go through about a million reasons why, but I’m gonna let some other people fight this battle today.

Pope Benedict XVI (bless his everloving heart) – the main man in the Catholic faith recently pissed off every muslim on planet earth with his comments against Mohammed and Islam.

(quoted from CNN.com article – ‘Pope: Conversion by violence not of God – POSTED: 6:54 p.m. EDT, September 12, 2006′)

“”

Citing historic Christian commentary on holy war and forced conversion, the 79-year-old pontiff quoted from a 14th-century Byzantine emperor, Manuel II Paleologos.

“The emperor comes to speak about the issue of jihad, holy war,” the pope said. “He said, I quote, ‘Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.’ “

“”

(click here for the original article)

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I don’t even know who this woman is, but after hearing this exchange I got this lady’s back – click on the link below and check it out.

http://switch3.castup.net/cunet/gm.asp?ai=214&ar=1050wmv&ak=null

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Oh yeah, even though I’ve had these shirts for a while I haven’t really done shit with them. Joel keeps telling me to make a bunch and I could sell a shit ton, but I’ve been too drunk and lazy to get off my ass and do it. Regardless, check out the design and let me know if you want one because I’m gonna do a huge batch when I get home. The image on the shirt is that comic from the Dutch newspaper that caused Muslims around the world to riot and even trample to death some of their own (nice job dumb asses). In Islam you are not allowed to draw a picture of the prophet Mohammed, so obviously a picture of the asshole with a bomb for a hat and the word “Islam” written beneath in bomb font is really gonna fire the fuckers up. I wear mine over here in Iraq all the time. I love it.

Available shirt colors are brown, olive drab green, and I may be able to get some more gray (as depicted below) but no guarantee on that one. All sizes will be supported so just let me know and I’ll crank you off one when I get home. And hell, if you’ve got a shirt or something else you want the image printed onto thats cool as well, just hit me up and when I get back and you can bring that shit over to my place and we can crank it off for you. Just let me know before I get home so I can do it all at once, it totally fucking sucks cleaning screens after a print and I don’t want to do that any more times than I have to. Cool? Alright.

OK.. time for a quick story. I was in the chow hall the other night eating my chickenburger and wearing the Islam t-shirt shown below. One of the army’s translators came up to me and we had a little discussion about it:

army terp, “hey man, you know that shirt is blasphemy!?”

me w/ food in my mouth “yeah, cool huh?”

army terp, “well that is very offensive to muslims.”

me w/ food and drink in my mouth “yeah, I know. this is the comic that caused all those riots.”

army terp, “i am very upset that you would wear that in here, that is offensive to me and my religion and it is blasphemy.”

(big swallow)

me, “hey asshole, this compound is american fucking soil, i don’t give a shit what you think – i can wear whatever the fuck shirt i want to. thats the cool thing about being an american. why don’t you go get a t-shirt that says ‘fuck jesus’ or something on it if you’re so pissed off!?”

army terp, “well… urrr… that is not the same thing, your t-shirt is blasphemy!!”

me, lean head back, let out frustrated sigh, then stare dude right in the eyes.

army terp, “look, i would really appriciate it if you would not wear that shirt any more! if this becomes an issue then i will talk to the chief of base!”

me, “you are a terp for the army, right?”

army terp, “yes i am, i curr..”

me (interrupting), “well translate this!” (i flip him the bird)

MTV India: YOU ROCK! You are the strangest, coolest thing I have ever seen. I feel like I have been warped into a bizarro dimention that is strangely based on US culture but mutated into some kind of incomprehensible amalgam. I can barely understand a word that is spoken or sung on your channel even when it is in english. Somehow just by the format and the bizarro similarity to American culture I can figure out who is the star and who are the underlings, who is the actress and who is a sex symbol, who is a famous cultural icon and who is an annoying tv personality, who is the good guy and who is the bad. Its campy and kitch like from another planet yet totally contemporary. The commercials and music videos play on the cultural subtleties and nuances of India yet are expressed through misinterpreted western style. The sexual interactions and depicted male and female societal roles while coupled with the dynamic of friendship and romance are baffling and alluring and mystifying at the same time. All this to the tune of your strange Indian music. It totally reminded me of the beginning of Ghost World. Here is that music video from Ghost World – it was originally the opening scene to an Indian film called ‘Gumnaam’ (its like 55 megs – bummer I know, but worth the download, its right here on slavenation so at least it wont take all fucking night to snag it).

Here is a link to a product I saw advertised on MTV India – http://www.fairandhandsome.net/ – You can draw your own conclusions.

Just in case you didn’t know, “Most dark-skinned men are as insecure as women and go to equal lengths, albeit secretly, to achieve lighter skin.” hahaha.. I can’t fucking believe that one!

France: GO TO HELL! Fuck you France, what the fuck have you ever done? You are always on the list! I was happy when those disenfranchised muslim youths burned thousands of your cars for weeks and you couldn’t do shit about it. Nobody ever listens to your pathetic whining because you have never kicked a single ass ever. Wait.. ok, well – you did kick one ass one time and even though you totally bolloxed it up I’ll give you credit for just this one thing because it was pretty funny and cool and against Greenpeace (who, it goes without saying, is always on the ‘go to hell’ list). But listen France, even though you kicked one ass don’t get all froggy about it, you are still on the list you fucking fuckers.

The sinking of the Rainbow Warrior, codenamed Operation SATANIC, was a special operation by the “action” branch of the French foreign intelligence services, the Direction Générale de la Sécurité Extérieure (DGSE), carried out on July 10, 1985. It aimed at disabling the flagship of the Greenpeace fleet, the Rainbow Warrior, in the port of Auckland, New Zealand, to prevent her from interfering in a nuclear test in Moruroa.

Fuckheads in the gym: GO TO HELL!

skinny dirty army dorks – you are not buff or ripped, quit doing one fucking set then flexing like a homo in the mirror with your sleeves pulled up.

hajis – you should not even be in the gym. you don’t bathe and wipe your ass with your hands, so god only fucking knows the thousands of other things that you do that would spread germs all over the fucking place. you never wipe the equipment off when you are done and you make the whole place stink like an overflowing outhouse. go back out into the dirt where you belong.

third country nationals – yes you, colombians, el salvadorians, chileans, and other such jungle-haji’s. i am not against your countries, most the time you dudes are pretty cool, but you fuckers need to learn how to work out and stop occupying equipment while talking for hours with your buddies about the one fat army chick doing lunges in the corner.

johnny cool-ass – i don’t know what your real name is, but you are an idiot. why the fuck are you wearing oakley blades sunglasses, combat boots, and no shirt in the gym when you work out? you are pretty big, and it looks like you can lift some steel, but dude, you are greasing up all the equipment and even though i hate to break it to you.. YOU ARE NOT THE TERMINATOR! take your fucking shades off!

team extreme – all four of you are totally lame. quit putting drowning pool in the stereo and cranking the volume up all the way. I can’t hear my iPod even with my volume maxxed out over your bullshit. squatting in front of each other and pumping each other up by yelling back and forth “HELL YEAH!” and “GIT ER DUN!” between fits of groaning and screaming is totally absurd. when you are lifting a heavy weight it is not required to roar like a fucking dinosaur. oh yeah, and just for the record, not that i’m the fashion police or anything, but you look like homos with your double-extra-medium t-shirts that show off your midrifts.

creepy old man – i don’t even know where the fuck you came from or how you got here, but go away! seriously, you are not being discreet by sitting there on the shoulder press machine and staring at me for an hour straight throught the mirror. you do realize that i can see you staring at me and i am on the verge of making you look like an ass when i angrily confront you in front of everyone.

shadowboxer and friend – hey dicks, pretending that you are fighting somebody by throwing mock blows over me when I’m trying to bench 300+lbs is about to get your ass kicked for you. I was being nice when i told you to fuck off after you bumped the bar as I was in mid press. why are you even in the gym? i don’t think you guys lifted weight one the whole time you were in there!?! just trying to look cool like all the other assholes, get real fuckers.

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