Sea Creatures

Well here I am over in the shitbox again. I watched a haji piss in the dirt while smoking a cigarette today in 120 degree heat, my bro says to me “dude, these are dirt people”, well to be more accurate they are dirt monkeys but whatever.

Oh fuck it.. I’ve got about a million things to do here but I’m totally fucking exhausted.

I feel like time is sucking me into a whirlpool. I have nothing but free time but it is almost impossible to get anything done. Through an immense exertion of willpower I was able to finish off ‘Infection‘ in the thoughtcrime section. Its hard to get this fucking ball rolling on this place when I can’t spill beans on my current situation. Well until this site starts to pay my rent I gotta be a sellout like all the rest. So CNN wont shut the fuck up about the Crocodile Hunter getting killed by a fucking stingray. Like between that and some Japanese bitch having a baby there must not be any other news on planet earth. Oh, I’m sorry CNN.. I forgot… there’s always ‘escalating violence in Iraq’. Oh and by the way, Japan, I got 2 words for you and your oriental po-ten-tate, “UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER”, so take your emperor and go fuck yourself. Oh yeah, don’t act surprised when I don’t send a card. Anyway, it is kind of a bummer that Steve Irwin got croaked, I mean there are like a thousand other annoying TV personalities that I would rather have killed off by renegade sea creatures that that dude.

“bonzer!”

Here’s a headline for you. Oprah’s fat head melted to death by a giant jellyfish. I can hear the cries of a million mindless drones now. All of them and the media all playing a game of orgy-porgy to pictures of Oprah and telling each other stories about how great she was, such an innovator, an iconoclast, a pioneer. Go on a diet and shut the fuck up you hideous obnoxious sow.

In a related story, Dr. Phil’s head was cracked open by a lobster and his brain was eaten to death by the lobster’s powerful mandible. The real tragedy is that the lobster died immediately after because Dr. Phil’s gigantic melon was filled with nothing but pure bullshit.

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