The Tri-County Trifecta

Ok.. everybody knows that there are some no-shit rules you have to follow when conducting travel to 3rd world shitholes. First, don’t drink the water. Second, don’t eat the local food. Third, don’t get shitfaced drunk. Well it was my fucking birthday so I broke all three in one night. Look, this ain’t my first rodeo but you only turn 30 once right? Well that’s... Read More

Dystopia

DYSTOPIA: definition dys-/dus- (Latin/Greek roots: ‘bad’ or ‘abnormal’)  +  -topos (Greek root: ‘place’) =  ‘bad place’ eu- (Greek root: ‘good’) / ou- (Greek root: ‘not’) + -topos (Greek root: ‘place’) = ’good/no place’ dystopia n. an imaginary wretched place, the opposite of utopia utopia n. a place... Read More

“The Death Dealer For Dicks”

I’ve been lauging my ass off all day today. My buddy Jimmy over here had some unfortunate shit happen to him and even though I feel bad that the dude is fucked up I can’t help but laugh my ass off about it. So.. Iraq.. no girls right. Well Jimmy’s been here for like 3 months already and after that long you really start to miss things – like sex. Anyway, the dude was jacking off the other day and one of the other dudes here,... Read More

Space Madness

As of today I am officially a founding member of the contractor fight club. No, not literally, but as of yesterday we dropped off our clients at the airport and have absolutely nothing to do for at least the next two weeks. After that they are scheduled to return to B-dad and only make periodic visits back up to our site. This means that all we have to do up here is work out, conduct self-directed training with weapons and tactics, punch the heavy... Read More

Titty Fuck Francie

Well I’m a total fucking idiot. Yeah, I know, big surprise. So I’m here in Iraq trying to work on the fucking site in my new and glorious free time and because the internet is totally shitty and sporadic as well as the fact that the power grid here in Baghdad goes up and down all the fucking time coupled with the problems of my stupid laptop continually overheating, I somehow deleted the index.shtml file off the site and then also somehow... Read More

Iraq (The Movie) Part III: “This time its personal”

Why is it such a hassle to go on deployment? Every time it’s the same shit but it never stops being a pain in the ass. I mean I’m used to all the issues. Preparing, packing, getting bills in order, saying goodbye to friends and family, dealing with the airport bullshit – hey look, going new places rocks but a lot of travel really fucking sucks. I think maybe it’s the hardships and complications that gives you an opportunity to either experience... Read More

Regurgitatro

Its August. I turn 30 this month. I go back to Iraq this month. These are strange times for me. Like fever dreams they seem wild and incalculable. Strange new artifacts claim significance while old familiar ones dissolve away. A cough, a well pronounced word in an empty room, dust rising from an old telephone as I slam the receiver home. Strange times. I wander the internet and the television wastelands to no avail. I purchase vice and bloat with... Read More