It’s Official… I’m an ASSHOLE!

yeah yeah yeah.. i fucking know, I KNOW! I’ve been totally slacking on this site for like 2 weeks. Lots of shit been going down, you know, a nigga just trying to keep his head above water here in the ghetto. Anyway, I have a bunch of new shit to put up here but it’s not all done yet so for now you will just have to check out the WASTELAND tribute page in the tweaked shit section. Not a whole ton of stuff, but I needed to represent the goods. “Monks talk shit but they can’t back it up” kind of thing. Anyway.

Until then here is the official, (i hope you fucking assholes get a kick out of this one) duh duh duh daaaa…

What not to do on a date list 5150 (and yes these were all lessons written in blood [by me] just this last week):

- don’t tell your date about anything you have ever done with prostitutes (especially if you boned one)

- don’t joke about your date with other people right in front of her (“Hi, I’m his girlfriend!”)

- don’t dance with other girls at the bar/club (especially in a ‘fuck-dance’ style)

- don’t try and ditch your date by running away and hiding in the bushes when you are leaving the bar/club

- do not, and I repeat, do not get totally totally puke on your pants wasted and then pass out on your condo-complex’s front doorstep

- do not try and puke on your date.. intentionally

- don’t tell your date that it is “all her fault” when she is helping your drunk miserable ass into bed so you can pass out

- don’t turn pac-man the laptop onto your date’s fingers then flick off the lights while saying “you’re done!” when your date is staying up to make sure you are ok

- don’t throw your date out of your bed onto the floor and tell her to “fuck off, go home, and leave me alone” when she is so exhausted that all she wants to do is pass out

and finally

- when you wake up the next morning and don’t remember anything (I mean you don’t remember shit) and your beautiful date is laying next to you with an angry look in her eye don’t say “what!?.. are you starting your period today?”

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