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Health Junk

Submitted by MEATGRINDER on May 30, 2005 – 3:45 pmNo Comment
Health Junk

I’ve been eating a lot of carrots lately. I have come to the conclusion that I will basically eat anything. I just don’t seem to really care at all. I find that no matter how burnt or gross tasting some leftovers may be, no matter how chunky the milk gets, no matter how fattening I know that huge chunk of icing is I don’t care. I think this is somehow tied either to me being a dude or me being less evolved. The cool thing is that I’m aware of this so that I can kind of regulate myself by only buying stuff that is basically healthy and nutritious. To this end I don’t buy a lot of junk food and chips and crap like that. Now I’m still human and I like to forrage around for stuff and snack on shit. So what I’ve been doing is buying those packages of little mini baby carrots that are pre-peeled and stuff and eating that when I’m like watching a movie or whatever. So I went to Costco with Kiwi the other day because he’s got a membership still from when he was married. Well you know how they have like gigantic mega-sized stuff there I ended up buying a giganto bag of baby carrots. So yesterday I was working on this video editing program on my computer trying to figure it out and shit for a few hours and I grabbed the mega-bag of mini carrots to snack on. Dude, before I knew what was happening I had eaten the entire fucking bag. I remember while I was eating them that I reached a point where I was not hungry and actually totally sick of the taste of carrot but for whatever reason I just kept munching away. Those things are like the perfect little snack food, I mean they’re small and crunchy and you can mindlessly eat them in a hundred different ways. I was sitting there clicking away with a mouth filled with orange sawdust. The weirdest thing was that my shit came out the exact same fucking color as the carrots today. I tell my dad about this stuff and he tells me that he was dating this girl who ate carrots so fucking often that her skin started to change into carrot color. I was like, dude, why would you go out with someone who eats carrots so much, don’t you think that is a little messed up. And then I remember how the whole conversation got started and I was just like .. damn.

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