Dukes of BIAP

Hypothetically speaking here.. what would you do if your boss handed you and your 3 buddies the keys to 2 brand new $250,000 BMW armored james bond cars with tv’s and radar inside? What if he told you that he just wanted you to have them washed and filled up with gas so that you could deliver them in good condition tomorrow?

Well if you were Matt, Lorcan, Noah, and of course yours truly you would take those cars out on the Iraqi highways and race at speeds over 230 kph. If you were one one those guys you would have put those vehicles through every high speed maneuver you could think of on every piece of road there was. And when the road ran out you would have raced them across the open desert over rocks and ditches with your foot slammed down on the gas the whole time. Swerving around mystified Iraqi drivers that only look on the 2 lightning bolts that just flashed past them in amazement. When the guys at the Army checkpoint see you flying in at the speed of sound they just wave you through with a jealous cheer, no id’s needed when your piloting a half million dollars worth of rocket cars. And when you had raced and pushed and jumped and skidded and swerved the vehicles so hard for so long that the engines and tires are smoking and all you can smell is the stink of burning rubber and oil… you would have fishtailed right through the front gate of your compound RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR BOSS! I totally got my ass chewed hard this afternoon for this one, but dammit it was so worth it. The head dude at our company saw me spin a kickass fishtail going 100 kph on a 90 degree left turn and land it perfectly. He called together every member of the team for an emergency team meeting and then looked at me the whole time during the ass-chewing. But really, what was that guy thinking? I mean look at us and then think to yourself ‘am I really handing over the keys to these vehicles to these fucking guys?’ The answer should instincively be ‘no’ but not even the evil glint in our eyes dissuaded him from giving us a great opportunity to get into trouble. So, after everything was said and done, it was totally worth it and I would do it again in an instant. I would expect anyone on the team to do the same thing. How many chances in life are you given to do that anyway?

I also just slapped together the finishing touches to ESCAPE ARTISTS and posted it on the site. It basically details the downward spiral that is our lives over here when we got a few days of freedom. It covers the past week of activity, sorry I hadn’t got back to anyone on email – read the posting and you’ll understand why. Oh yeah, I changed the color of the zombie face to blue for no apparent reason. There was a 3-way riot at the chow hall between the 3 different groups of Iraqis on camp (swat cops, emergency response, and the thugs – yeah, not even army, just thugs trained to go fuck stuff up). Noah and I were standing right in the middle of the 3 groups just kinda laughing and pointing out fucked up shit to each other. This evening we took several rockets, they shook all the tents but I don’t think they were closer than 200 meters. So, thats about it.. hope everyone likes the Escape Artists bit, wish I had more photos to post but it was more of a non-photo-taking time. Later.

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